View Full Version : Advice: What would you do in this situation?
Sondagger
September 26th, 2005, 09:07 pm
I need help. I'm part of another forum, but recently a person has joined that really irks me. She is rude, spams, says stupid stuff, and is an all around jerk. Normally, I'd leave the forum, but I really like this forum and refuse to leave unless banned.
Currently there is some tension rising between us. I've tried to be polite when talking to her, but I feel that is not working. I can't ignore her because that would irk me even more.
Help?
Madmazda86
September 26th, 2005, 09:10 pm
Have it out in a big flaming sesh IMO - either that or PM the admin and inform them of the problem :)
Neko Koneko
September 26th, 2005, 09:11 pm
I know exactly how you feel cos I have exactly the same problem here, and I'm not leaving either. People tell me to ignore certain people but like you said, that irks even more. I wish I could help you but if I could that would have meant certain people weren't around here anymore, so I can't help you. Nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way towards certain others though, even if it's not the same people we feel this way towards.
edit: Maz, admins can't do anything. People who annoy the fuck out of me are still around this place too and I'm not allowed to do anything cos their friends will cry and scream for their mummy if I do so.
Dawnstorm
September 26th, 2005, 09:35 pm
I wouldn't go for the flaming session. Chances are good, she's used to it and you're not, and you'll pile up frustrations while she goes about her business as usual.
I'd go for the irksome ignoring; I've often typed up responses I, then, deleted instead of posting. You can't change people (until you try really hard, but I doubt you want to invest that much time into an annoying stranger); you can try to change your attitude.
I see no easy way out of that one, but that's life. Ignoring gets easier with time.
Noir7
September 26th, 2005, 09:44 pm
I'd never have a problem with this, so I can't really aid you. For me, if there was someone I hated with such a passion, it would just be another reason why I should stay on that forum. I'm pretty used to people who hate me over the internet, but I couldn't care less.
To me, they're only a 100x100 and nothing more.
Fob
September 26th, 2005, 09:56 pm
Have you ever talked one-on-one with her? Maybe she doesn't know that she's annyoing you or any of your other forums members. It probably wont work but it's still worth a try. PM her and ask her if she's aware that she's an ass.....except in a nicer way of course :D
Neko Koneko
September 26th, 2005, 10:06 pm
I doubt one on one convos will do much, if anything.
prodigyviolin101
September 26th, 2005, 10:51 pm
Try and talk rationally with her, like others have said let her know that she is bothering you, and if she stil doesn't stop then well... tahts all my advice.
Squiggle
September 26th, 2005, 11:06 pm
I would steer clear of the flaming session. There is a distinct possibility that she would save it all and then use it as grounds to have you banned as you would have started it. It's low and disgusting but people do do it.
Dark Bring
September 26th, 2005, 11:55 pm
The fucker does not deserve to be recognised as existing in your world.
Ignore her. Her words are like so much fart in the air - they only make a bad impression for a moment, and are quickly forgotten.
Ichigo
September 27th, 2005, 03:18 am
Ive had that problem a few times.. I've only left one of the forums out of about 12.. I left because the Owner was giving people 1,000,000 posts because he knew them personally and was treating everyone else like poo.. We had to pay $100 to join the forum if we didnt have over 1,000 posts.. I had about 1,400 so I was lucky.. but yea.. just ignroe her and go on with your buisness! ^.^
Meer
September 27th, 2005, 03:21 am
We had to pay $100 to join the forum if we didnt have over 1,000 posts.. I had about 1,400 so I was lucky.. but yea.. just ignroe her and go on with your buisness!
That's BS.
Zero
September 27th, 2005, 05:26 am
Quoting Red Stone, "The fucker does not deserve to be recognised as existing in your world." Basically, have the mentality of "who gives a fuck." Who gives a fuck if someone's annoying you? Like Noir7 said, "I couldn't care less." All she's proving is she's a stupid fuck who doesn't have a life besides annoying people and sprouting shit on an internet forum. HOWEVER.... if you allow her to affect you negatively, then.... you lose.... to the stupid fuck. Don't do that.
Remember: the only power others have to bring negative feelings upon you is the power YOU GIVE THEM.
Here's the thing: In a crowd, the fucker will be thrown out. But if another screws with the fucker, chances are they'll both be thrown out.
The key is to have the crowd on your side.... which shouldn't be too hard.
If you show you don't allow people to affect you in a harmful way, that is true strength. ^_^
Maz, admins can't do anything. People who annoy the fuck out of me are still around this place too and I'm not allowed to do anything cos their friends will cry and scream for their mummy if I do so.I disagree. This is their corner of the internet and admins can do whatever they want. The thing is.... those who don't are either unwilling to put their feet to the fire (standing up for themselves and taking responsibilities for their own actions), or they don't really care. You can inform the admin if you like -- they're there for a reason.
Zero X
September 27th, 2005, 06:11 am
Let me tell you, like Zero(the moderator) said,
"If you don't do anything, you'll never change anything!"
(Zero, if I'm right, you did say it to help a person,right...?)
So, I agree with Zero and madmaz!
Call the admin if she kept on doing it or annoying you,K? :)
It'll be worse if you don't do anything!
Moreover, you'll feel more uncomfortable.
Neko Koneko
September 27th, 2005, 06:22 am
I disagree. This is their corner of the internet and admins can do whatever they want. The thing is.... those who don't are either unwilling to put their feet to the fire (standing up for themselves and taking responsibilities for their own actions), or they don't really care. You can inform the admin if you like -- they're there for a reason.
That's bullshit, utter bullshit. If this was my corner of the internet, then why are certain people - and you know very well who - still here?
Zero
September 27th, 2005, 06:34 am
Your answer's right here:
I disagree. This is their corner of the internet and admins can do whatever they want. The thing is.... those who don't are either unwilling to put their feet to the fire (standing up for themselves and taking responsibilities for their own actions), or they don't really care. You can inform the admin if you like -- they're there for a reason.
Alone
September 28th, 2005, 10:54 am
Here's what I think...
If the member's attacks are directed at you personally, then this is what I think you should do: report spam (logical), send a pm asking him/her wtf her problem, and why is she attacking you (this is so you can see her answer - if she doesn't get angry and explains everything logically - she may be correct. if she starts "yelling", dont reply). Counter her rudeness with sarcasm, etc. comment on how 'mature' she is etc. Don't lose your temper whatever you do, and chances are the crowd will be at your side (or not).
If it is not directed at you (or someone else), but towards the whole forum in general, ask an admin to give /himher a warning to "stop spamming and posting crap", otherwise every post will annoy the hell out of you...
Zero: but what if (s)he's friends with the admin?! or they decide not to act, since (s)he's not breaking any severe rules? i mean, not all of us have your backbone: who can ban a person on the charge of "being annoying"?
Sondagger
September 28th, 2005, 08:05 pm
Well, thanks guys. I really appreciate it.
Its nice to know that there are people who have been through this and/or know what adivce to give.
Zero
September 28th, 2005, 11:22 pm
Zero: but what if (s)he's friends with the admin?! or they decide not to act, since (s)he's not breaking any severe rules? i mean, not all of us have your backbone: who can ban a person on the charge of "being annoying"?Umm, I didn't specify /what/ to say to the admin. :rolleyes:
"what if"? Obviously.. you act accordingly...... just like every other situation you've ever encountered.
Anyway Sondagger, best of luck.
Tranquil
September 29th, 2005, 05:10 pm
Just have a one-on-one talk with her. I mean, she might not even know.
She may be teasing people, but sound mean. Just be nice to her. She will either follow you and be mean and later banned, avoid you, leave the site, or maybe start being nice to everyone and especially you for being honest.
an-kun
October 9th, 2005, 11:10 am
I think you should get like all the ichigo members to join just to take it out on that one person XD Depends on how much she's pissing you off. We wouldn't care if we got banned because we wouldn't have the time to spend on there to like it. I guess it wouldn't really get you anywhere apart from she'll understand more what you're experiencing. <shrugs> It's up to you really as a last resort.
BUT in the end you can't change people. If she's just picking on you, you've got the right to complain. If she ain't just attacking you then it's better to just forget she even exists on the forum.
Tranquil
October 19th, 2005, 12:43 am
*sigh* Am I one of the few people here who sees the good in others?
Seriously, talk it out with her in private. This thread is old, I know, but this is just in case.
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