Well, its just a simple piano piece. Im still learning how to compose music, so there's probably going to be alot of mistakes. T-T Anyways, please tell me what I need to work on, and enjoy! ^-^

Edit: Hey, just changing the name of my thread to somthing more fitting. ^-^U

Welcome to Ichigo's~

Well, first off, your chord progression is rather repetitive. You also need more variations with your accompaniment (don't just do chords and arppegio, it gets rather tedious after a while). Then, your melody should be interesting, not just conformed to the chord progresion. Also, let the music move, right now, your piece feels rather... 'Dead'. When you write a piece, you try to propel it toward something exciting or interesting. It wasn't a bad try. Definitely not a bad piece for a first try, but of course, there are many places to be improved on. So yes, go forth and experiment!

Id have to agree with sir dot, but still a very solid first try. I can tell that you haven't just put in notes at random which is the all too often seem to be the case.

It was enjoyable and suited my needs since I need to sleep and it worked as a lullaby =)

Haha, wow... I wasnt expecting feedback this fast! ^-^ Well, thanks!! Ill start on another song, using what u guys told me! ^_^ Well, thanks again! ^-^

Very, very good for a first composition.

(Welcome to Ichigos)

Very good for a first composition! ^_^

I'll throw in my two cents:
Measures 29 through 40 where you have those two notes against each other in the left hand. That's really to low on the piano to sound clear. To make the interval sound more clear, try moving those notes into a higher octave or separating them more that an octave apart.

Welcome to Ichigo's! :)

Cool, I like it but a bit too slow, I feel you could make it more interesting putting a part where the piece moves more( a bit more of life) in the mid-part for example(which was still slow and same chord progression) for have it in contrast with slow parts, also if divide the piece in parts, to use different kind of chords for each section/part for have variety and not get tired of hear the same progression appearing all the time without bringing something new that can attract the person again to your piece.

Oh okay, so I should give it more of a ternary form?

Not really, all is up to you of how you want your music to be, but see at 1:24 you started to use the same chords in long notes, from there you could have done a change of chords for not to be monotonous with the chords and have the contrast bringing something different to the piece(including a good melodic aspect) then returning to the first part with or without variations. It get the ternary form A/B/A but you can add more if is your wish, that is why you don't need to give it really a ternary form. Anyway! Hope you continue composing and learning! n_n

Hey, sorry that it has been awhile since i've been on. And sorry I waited like a month before replying again. T-T Well, while away I have written a few pieces. Here they are:

Sorrow: I wrote this piece on new years. Sounds simmilar to 'hawksong'.

Randomness: Between X-Mas and new years, I got bored, and wrote a song. This was a challenge for me because this is my first piece that didn't use a piano. ^-^

Jamuary 25th: The other day, in my french class, I got bored and wrote this in about 20 minutes. So, its kinda really etchy on some parts, and it is kinda short.

Once again, I am SOOO sorry about not being on for about a month. T-T Oh, and is there any way to change a thread's name to something more fitting like "German_kid13's" compositions? :heh:

Edit: Ooops! Wrong MIDI!! ^-^U

Looking/listening to these three compositions kinda reminded me of... myself... my old self as a composer. Some things I'll point out that seem to appear often in your compositions that could use some improvement...

1. In the bass notes of your harp and in your piano, you like to have note against note in an interval of a fourth and a fifth. There is nothing wrong with it, but KEEP THIS IN MIND! Stuff like that, especially in the lower register, sounds very plain/award to the ear because it is so open. It would be better to arpeggiate in the "perfect order of consonances" or some other form to make is more melodic while still keeping some harmonic undertones. Sometimes it is good to have note against note like that, but for the most part, it is dull to the ear. Work on this.

2. Counter melody is lacking in you're works. I'm not saying it's not there or you didn't attempt to put it in, it's just not that effective. You tend to stick specifically to the notes of a chord. You are correct in doing so, but the counter melody is just like the main melody: it doesn't always stick to the chords. Your counter melody is like living a perfect life. Everything is going right with no stress at all. Obviously life is not like that; there is stress in everyone's life. This stress is what makes life exciting. The same can be said about the counter melody. Adding passing tones, embellishing notes, and chord extensions, are just some of the many ways you can add tension to a piece and make it sound more interesting. What I really see in your counter melodies is what's called a "melodic outline." Read about that HERE! (http://forums.ichigos.com/showpost.php?p=368090&postcount=17)

Work on these things and you will be on your way to writing more mature compositions! Good Luck!

January 25th ~ It's Okay. Not much to say about since there isnt much in it.

Sorrow ~ It's Nice... I didnt really sense a melody of any kind. It sounded a lot like an accompaniment to me.

Randomness ~ I like this one the best out of the 3. The only thing I really did not like is the repetitive harp... its nice at first but it starts to get Very noticeable. It would make a very interesting Organ/Piano duet... But thats just me^_^

Nice job altogether;)

January 25 - It feels to bland and homophonic at times. It doesn't really feel like a piece itself, more like an accompaniment. I guess you should aim for creating something memorable (whether if it's a melody, or rhythmic motif).

Randomness - Well, it's a typical 'first try on orchestration'. You should learn about every instrument you're writing for before writing for it. This can maximize your knowledge of what you can do and what you can't do in orchestration. But musically speaking, it's fair, nothing too outstanding either ways.

Sorrow - The accompaniment was too repetitive. Again, the melody needs to be more obvious or something needs to be memorable.

Sir Dotdotdot: Thanks for the advice! Ill start studying the various instruments right away! ^-^

PorscheGTIII: Hey, thanks for the short lesson on melodic outline. ^-^ It was very helpful. ^_^

Well, thanks again for the feedback! Ill start doing what you guys have said, and hopefuly my next piece will sound a bit better. :)

Hey, made another song, tell me what you think! ^-^

Well, you got stuck there with the same chords and the music didn't have a real progression, just repeating the same chords with different variations and notes playing on the top that didn't go to any place.

I like it, although it'd be cool, on the second 3rd and 4th beat and the ands in between on measures 36 and 40, to shift the notes on the bassline up two steps up in the scale.

yeah, im having some issues w/ making a good bass line. All the bass lines I try to write sound kinda weird. T-T Oh, and how do we make a song progress?

What I was meaning with didn't have a progression is because you was stuck with the same, like not seeing an introduction, a develop to a main theme then a repetition for a climax then an ending. It don't need to be like that always but yours seemed for me stuck with the same thing not going to any place.

Oh, okay. That makes sense. Thanks for clearing that up for me. ^-^

Yay! New song! ^-^

Good work on all of these. I know it was your first one, and it has already been said but hawksong was a little repetitive.

Boredom sounds like something from a video game. Maybe you could compose for games. I like the rit in it too.

Keep up the good work!

Edit: How long have you been playing/composing now?

I've been playing Trombone for about 4 years now, and I have been studying music compositions since september (Still not in a formal class though. T-T). Haha, oh well. ^-^

Well, here is another song, I was trying to write a 'French Overture', but I think I kinda failed horribly. ^-^U It still turned out ok though. :lol:

Feedback? ^_^

Edit: Haha, I actually want to write video game music. ^-^ But, I should probably wait until im alot more better. ^-^

I'm pretty sure this isn't in the traditional "french overture" style, which is, as far as I know, characterized by it's dotted eighth or dotted quarters exaggerated so that they are more like double-dotted.

haha, yeah, like I said, I kinda failed... horribly. It sounds nothing like a french overture. I just read about the characteristics of a french overture, and thought it sounded kinda cool. But I kinda didnt think about actually LISTENING to a French Overture. T.T I think I have learned my lesson now though. ^_^ Next time I write a French Overture, It'll be more... French Overture-y. ^-^

nice... hmm very nice. hmm maybe should of changed the left hand to make it more interesting more.. like well for me i start off a simple melody wiht a simple chord.. then once i have the cord down i mess around -- i mean play around with the chords and the melody with it and yeah thats what i'm trying to say. For your melody part 1:41-1:44 sound nice with the chords. like after two minutes.. since it is near the ending of the song you should make it more.. add more-- play around with it more. The song was rather nice listening to it. **was listening while i was typing*

Well, its just a simple piano piece. Im still learning how to compose music, so there's probably going to be alot of mistakes. T-T Anyways, please tell me what I need to work on, and enjoy! ^-^

Edit: Hey, just changing the name of my thread to somthing more fitting. ^-^U

This is a very beautiful melody. Somewhat misleading in some parts, but beautiful, nonetheless...
If you're trying to spice it up just a bit, somewhere in the middle/climax, I would begin working in some sixteenth arpeggiating notes in the bass clef and some differentiating rhythms in the treble clef and melody. Maybe even a short bridge section of a minor chord progression with some resolving majors in it would be exciting! If you take me seriously, start in moderation and go from there. Don't add too much or change it drastically - I don't want you to ruin your beautiful piece! *U*

EDIT: Sorry I posted this in the wrong topic

your songs are very good, well, thats my personal opinion ... those are some statics but i'm glad to listen them ...
the third is like a cannon n_n i like that
do you want to give me the first one's sheet?? i want to play that in my piano.
well, if you no want it, ok.
so... good luck
subarashii

Hey, sorry I havent been on 4 like 2 months... school has kinda been taking a lot of my time. T-T

Average composer: Thanks for the advice! Ill start rewriting that section. Thank you for your help! ^-^

Evang: Thanks! Ill keep that in mind when Rewritting the song. n_n

Subarashii: Ok, sorry it took me so long to get back. T-T Is a .Mus Fine?

Anyways, wrote a song a few days ago. I think I should probably stick w/ writing piano songs, lol. Well, enjoy, and feedback is always enjoyed! ^-^

Well, I liked your melody at first, although you need to smooth a couple parts out. I really liked how the melody jumped up to the E in the second half; it builds tension. I would on the last repetition jump up to a G to resolve it.

Once you get into the endless variations on the same four-chord progression, your audience gets annoyed. You need new material and chord progressions. Furthermore, in the variations of the main melody, there were some really beautiful things that I could hear in my head happening, but that never happened.

Ok, so I shouldnt stick w/ the same chord progression throughout the whole song?

Haha, sorry if it sounds kinda stupid, I never really figured out chord progressions. T-T

I have mentioned to you about the chords. They get tired to be repeating all the time. You can make a phrase of eight bars repeating the same chords then when you are in the last bar do a cadence that will can make you move to another new phrase with new chords or do a modulation that can bring you to a new key. This will make your music fresh again and not tiring by using the same chords.

I have no heard still your last work. What I am saying is of what I have heard of your previous works.

Just sit in front of the piano if that is the instrument you use and check hat kind of chords are good for you and look for new chords that can make an interesting combination together. Also look at score of other composers or piano pieces for have a good idea of how to be variated with chords and other things.

Keep improving! :)

Ok, so I shouldnt stick w/ the same chord progression throughout the whole song?

It depends what you are writing for. If you were writing for a title screen of a video game, you could probably expect some kind of composition that has a repeating progression. In most other cases it is best to vary the progression to something new. This will ensure that you capture your audience's attention through out your piece.

Nice job with your piece. The only thing I really didn't like was how you resolved your composition at the end.

Keep it up! ^_^

Oh ok, thanks Porsche and Nyu! that helped alot! ^-^

Wrote this piece like just now, is this any better chord progression wise?

are you really 13 years old?

if so, then youre very talented. ;)

Dancing into the Night: The biggest advice I'd give for this piece is Dynamics. It is truly hard to give a piece feeling and emotion without dynamics. At times it felt as if your melody was dieing away, and I think adding accents to certain notes would give life to it.

Haha, no im actually 15. Sorry. T-T

For dancing into the night, Is this any better?

Wells, gots bored and wrote this, enjoy! ^-^

Edit: Just been expanding on my unnamed piece.

There were some things I liked and didn't like with your "Dancing into the Night" piece...

I like the deceptive cadences (I think that's what I heard XD) you used.

I didn't like the closed intervals in the left hand. They sound like mush and blah.

I did not like how repetitive it was.

Keep trying! ^_^

so thanks german_kid ...well, sorry for answer too late, but, i was very bussy ... now i´ll have something new to play n_n

Hey, im back after being gone half the summer. I was on a vacation. ^-^ well, i was able to write a short piano piece one night. Here it is, enjoy! Sorry, i was kinda too lazy to put it into midi. lol!

Well, not too bad of a piece, but it sounds kind of tame for a title such as "Nightmare." The main problem is really that very little going on that catches the ear - there is a sense of progression, but the variations don't excite the imagination at all. Try varying your figuration some more (especially in the bass line), and add more distinct alternating section to keep it from sounding too repetitive. Ideally, eventually you'd also want to add a lot of expression (particularly dynamics), but I concede that this can be difficult to do with software, especially for beginners.

Hey, sorry it's been a while... T.T Well, i finally got into an electronic music class this year(Finally! ^-^) Anyways... For nightmare, the name is an inside joke... It's not suppose to sound scary... T.T And now, to put up a new song thingy...

Evening Dance: It's a brass quartet that I had to make for an assignment in my elect. music class... I dont know why, but it reminds me of a dance somehow... T.T Well, hope you enjoy it... and I hope this sounds better than my other works... ^_^

P.S. Sorry 'bout making such a late post... hope noone will be mad at me for this... T-T

Ok. Let's start with the arrangement itself...

I find it kinda awkward that you used arpeggios with a four part brass arrangement. First, I believe that they will not come out very well. Its just not very characteristic of brass instruments to do this, especially in a four part arrangement. It would suit the piece better to have a four part counterpoint, where all the instruments have a melodic line to play and they flow together in unison.

Another thing i would like to comment on is the range you have your trombone written for. Yes, it is within the playable low range of the trombone but there is only four parts. The lower register sounds muffled when notes are played close together. In this case I'm referring to the intervals between the trombone and tuba. Transposing the Trombone part up an octave should make the trombone line come through much clearer.

Also, your progression leaves me with much more to be desired. You repeat it over and over again with no real exciting twist to it. i would try to and more forms to it to change things up for the listener.

Another thing. Dynamics? You lack them. Dynamics are key to making a composition more human in quality. Think of your composition like you were sitting in a lecture with your professor speaking to you in a monotone voice. Boring. You most likely will note get anything from this lecture. The same can be said about this composition. Dynamics can create tension and set the overall mood for the piece. If, referring to my lecture example, the professor were to be speaking in a monotone voice and then out of nowhere flips a stool over and it makes a loud bang on the ground, he just surprised his audience. He pulled them into a state of calm and the slapped them back into reality. I think this composition could have the same quality if played out right.

Keep at it. Listen to your inner ear. Don't except anything less. B)

k... so, what you're saying is: 1. Don't make a repetitive chord progression 2. When writting a quartet for brass, don't focus on having a bass line, or a simple harmony, but instead focus more on counter-point 3. don't let tuba and trombone be so close in intervals... 4. use dynamics to make the song more interesting...

Is this all right? I'm just checking...

1. Yes and no. There is a time and place for repetitive progressions. This just so happens not to be the time or place. Video Game music would be a good example when to use a progression of that repetitive nature.

2. Not really. A strong bass line is very important. The one you have works fine. It's just that given you are working with a quintet, you need only one instrument playing the bass line melody. Remember also, a harmony can be melodic it's just how you present it.

3. Pretty much. A safe bet is to stay within perfect intervals in the lower register. Rules can be broken, it just doesn't work in your case.

4. Most definitely.

k, so, repetitive chord progressions are good when doing video games, but not so much with serious compositions, there are still times, though... And I should still keep a bass line, but i shouldn't make it so heavy... Thanks! I will try to rewrite the song to these, and see if it is any better! ^-^