Hi people ^_^
I finally finished one of my first songs :) All kinds of criticism are very welcome :P
I'm looking forword to improvement suggestions, hints or whatever you can tell me :) You can rate it if you want, too :lol:

Alright. A suggestion would be to use a better structure. From my point of view, it is too random to be enjoyable. It doesn't really lead anywhere. The oboe plays an important role in this, but it kind of drags it down. The instrumentation (...) was very good though, and so far I've only seen you and I use this combination. =P Strings, Harp and Oboe. Try to experiment with it, but try to be more self-critic once you've finished a song like this. It won't hurt you. The more self-critic you are about your compositions, the better you will do in the future. As an overall this is mildly good, but lacks in structure and melody. I said to someone else here, that try to compare it to one of your favorite songs, and see what that artist did better than you did. Don't compare yourself to other non-professional composers such as we on Ichigo's, for that will lead you to a dead end. Compare yourself to your favorite composer and don't give up until you've conquered him/her. ~(-.-

6.5/10

thanks for your constructive criticm ^^ if all members here would only post positive comments (like "THIS IS THE BEST SONG I EVER HEARD" and stuff) that wouldn't really lead anywhere ^_^ Ok, now for the song
the structure surely isn't good, but I don't think I'll edit the whole song again, rather gather new experience with new songs and try to do the thinks you told me :)
I like the instrumention of the song, I had a Piano, Strings, Music Box version, but I didn't really like it... as for the structure, yes there are too many melody changes,
but it's better than my first version of the song (completely repetive).
All together I don't think it's too bad for a first composition ^^

Echoing Noir, the song did lack in structure in melody. You did make some good use of chords and such, but there were also times when things just did not fit together. I think it would be also nice if you could add in perhaps a few more instruments. There weren't any memorable parts in it, but I've seen much worse. I give it a 5/10. Keep up the good work and I'm sure you'll get somewhere!

I don't think adding more instuments would help this.
It's rather a problem of the entire structure of the melody. Yep there were some parts pretty messed up :P

I don't think it would help the melody, I was only thinking that it would make the song more interesting...

i see :lol: what kind of instrument would you suggest? handbells or something like that?

I think that perhaps some lower brass would do nicely, perhaps trombone to help intensify some of your song, and even trumpet to help things stand out. And you could switch instruments for solo, not just Oboe.

it sounds perfect in the first 30 second, but after that the chords doesn't fit the melody (or the melody doesn't fit the chord). I guess that's why other people think it lacks structure. I suggest you change the melody and chord progression right after the 0:30 to creat a small climax, it might help brings out the structure more clearly -- because I can hear a faint structure and your intention, but only when I focus hard enough in the melody.

thanks for the many advices everyone :) I'll remake the song when I'm done with the one I'm making at the moment. ^_^ It's a song with a little story behind it, so I don't think it'll lack structure (it's the first song I'm actually really proud of :lol:) it may take a while till I wrote down the sheets (I compose the song on my e. piano), hopefully I'm done till the next CMA, I'll record it as soon as it's ready. ^^