well i just finished part 1/4 of my first song (phoenix sonata) and i want to hear what u guys think.

It's not really that impressive. It sounds like you just threw notes into Finale and hoped for the best. :\

No offense, but WHAT THE FUCK? You can't honestly write a couple of phrases, repeat them a couple of times, and call that a sonata. :\ Sorry for coming off as rude, but this song really isn't as good as you think it is. If you put some more effort into it, maybe this can change.

And who once named a piece Fugue C maj? :P

Hey, that song wasn't THAT bad. XD

I loved it. Satire, was it not?

It sounds more like an experimental piece that you wrote to help you learn about different techniques like block chords and arpeggios, and about chord progressions and some rhythmic stuff. It does sound copied/pasted to make it sound longer than it is. It's not presentable, although it's not horrendous.

well like i sayd it's the base piece. i allwais do the inner part first then start with the whole :"> plus it's called prelude for a reasson CAUSE IT'S THE FRIKIN BEGINING. it will have 4 parts in all this is just part one well... the core of it anyway

Hey, be nice, zippy! You guys need to keep your criticism constructive. It's nerve-wracking to put your work out there and you should be commended for the effort. However, you CAN definitely use work. I know for sure that my first compositions weren't any better than this. It takes a lot of time to be able to figure out what works and what doesn't. I'd say definitely keep composing. I wouldn't be where I am now if I had given up when I got my first bad reviews here on ichigos a few years ago, and your music reminds me a lot of what I started out with.

thanks death....
never thought i'd thank death... until it claimed george bush

thanks death....
never thought i'd thank death... until it claimed george bush

Best four words in the English language: Former President George Bush. :P

To stay on topic and clear up any misunderstandings you might have, I was critiquing as if this were part of a piece in a live performance, not as a work in progress. As a work in progress, this is fine, as long as you add those transitions between your musical ideas for flow and cohesion, and mess around a bit with the organization and placement of the ideas.

well like i already said a couple of times it's just the first part and i'm gonna mess around with it 2 (cause i'm not really that stable) and well this song might get a little weird along the way cause it's actually a musical portrait (i know i know it sounded weird but i had no ideea how else to say it) it's inspired by my best friend (which is like a sister to me, and yeah i'm a guy in case u were wondering) and i wanted it to be a birthday present (so i have about 1.5 months :D) that's why i'm taking my time and every segment i write is actually descriptive of her

Do you know what a sonata is, slayer? These don't seem like very credible themes, and they're no melody in this-- just harmonic changes. I would avoid the diminished seventh chords, and this is very repetitive, to the point of anti-musicality.

If I were you, I'd add more melody and actually put forth some effort. I am not feeling any work or careful placement of notes-- I don't care if it's a draft, beginning, or anything... why submit an unfinished beginning that's crap, if it's the beginning of crap?

Ask yourself, seriously.

ok gonna go comit senpuku then

I don't think that im in any position to criticize your piece but maybe you should start over. It doesn't resemble an intro at all

ok gonna go comit senpuku then
You're gonna commit concealment?　:\

You don't have to listen to these guys bitch about your song. Some people (such as me) do that simply because they want to come off as some sort of fucking highness trying to prove to everyone that they are a big deal. I'm sure you're able to screen through what comments are useful for you and which ones are simply written to fill their own egos.

For a first song this could've been worse, just don't leave too much of it to "solve itself", so to speak. For instance, it is clear to me that you use the notation program as your creative assistant instead of what it should be: A mind-to-paper translator. 0:30 - 0:33 has a simple chord progression which you didn't utilize to any of its potential. Here, you let comfort come before hard work, and you let the program do the work for you. This being a composer community, it is just too see-through to enjoy this at any rate. Give this song to random people with no musical training or background and they probably won't mention any faults; but I bet they won't listen to this song more than once. That is their subtle way of saying "Your song sucks".

A composer has the ability to pick a composition apart thoroughly and pinpoint its exact flaws, and tell you why it doesn't work. Regular people don't, they just don't listen to it again -- which to me is as good feedback as any. I'm telling though you though, with 100% certainty that you didn't even give this one an honest shot. Next time don't view the composition from your point of view, because, with no disrespect, you know nothing about composing yet. Try to view this from a listener's point of view, even your own, and then don't let the song finish itself before a satisfactory result has been achieved.

for me, this song was like picking random notes from a hat and throwing it on the music. Sorry.

:-< noir7's right guess i'm gonna start over.

ok, after reading some comments on this, I expected alot worse than how it sounded. However, you need to know what makes a piece a sonata before calling it a sonata. It may be just an opening but its lacking in a theme. Had you repeated your runs in the opening, it would have been different. If meant to write this as a Sonata allegro form of 4 movements, this intro was too brief. There were chords that didn't resolve quite right but that's ok since its your first song.

I would not call this piece random. it has potentials. Maybe trying some voice exchange or mixing additional melodies. His second slower section would work nicely as a bridge as well. Remember your exposition, development, and recapitulation and you're on good terms!:lol:

If meant to write this as a Sonata allegro form of 4 movements, this intro was too brief.

Sonata-Allegro form is not 4 movements. Sonata-Allegro form is simply the form that is most often used for the first (usually "Allegro") movement of the Sonata. In fact, some sonatas are only one movement.