EDIT: Well, It's finally done! Thanks for the help, Mazeppa!

Notes:

+ There are quite a few typos in this song :heh:

+ We sort of messed up with the music too . . .for the first part of the song, we used the wrong .MIDI file, and so the music you hear is the original Part One I posted here, but with Mazeppa's edits spliced into it. The final version was so much better . . .:(

+ I apologize in advance for the loss of your sanity. :sweat:

You know, this is actually not that bad! There is a catchy melody and the parts that surround it are really fitting. They double the melody and bring a feeling of togetherness with supporting parts and harmony. As cheesy and as "unpleasant" the lyrics are, everything seems to fit into what you're going for, as far as that Avenue Q thing. :lol:

Now, onto what can make this better. In the beginning you have that ostinato playing in the piano, and it interferes with the voice part (which is in a similar register). Change the note/s for the piano pattern? You may want to add chords instead. Also, in measure 9, I would just make beats 3 and 4 unison; I like how you just go down in the scale in the left hand, but it doesn't quite work, since you create clashes of 7ths and such. The trill might want to be re-worked too; I like the unison of it, but it's very far apart and creates an empty feel in the song (like there's missing sound). Maybe place them closer together, or do something different? (Scale going upward ending on a C chord?)

When the "first verse" comes in, I would rework the background parts. I like the counter-point feeling (I think that's your opening melody?) in the trumpet. I was confused with your intentions with the guitar though; I thought you were going to bring it in for some chords, but when the voice part started, the guitar was eliminated! I would have kept in it with hat same pattern. At this point, the piano is basically playing single notes in each hand, and this piece has a lack of harmony and a chord base. We can all tell what each chord is, but the music isn't "full." I suggest you write straight chords or chords with a rhythmic pattern to keep things together. And at 19, it really starts to get empty.

31, for example, has that feeling of "oh, it's going somewhere" but then it looses that fullness at measure 33.. however it comes back in for measure 34. At 35, that empty feeling is re-stated with notes playing for your background, when it should be full chords. Maybe octaves in the bass, and a 4-note spelling of the chord in the right hand? Also, you can do 5ths for the guitar playing, and maybe the bass of the chords in the trumpet? (or add a counter-melody for this part?). All these suggestions could be thought of for measure 36-44. At measure 45, you have another very weak part. You bring the piano in, but for to play the same thing that the voice is.

Overall, the pieces needs more foundation. The form of it all works, the chord progressions are creative, (I really like some of them!) but the problem is this: you have three background instruments, and it seems you're only using half of one of them (the piano).

I'll post an example of what you could do with the piano part soon!

And here they are (sorry for the double post, I am too lazy to wait for my browser to load up my edit post screen XD).

I hope this helps! Feel free to ask anymore questions and I wish to hear more of this! Good luck, my friend!

Oh wow I didn't expect so much critiquing, or at least not that quickly ^^; I really appreciate it though. I'm going to try out some of the things you've mentioned now . . .oh and as for measure 35 and on . . .I kinda got lazy because I'm the only one who knows how to write music in my group, and it was getting a little troublesome. *sweatdrop* (The rest of the group is making paper-bag puppets, and singing.)

EDIT: Just listened to your examples. You, sir, are amazing. Thank you!


Also, as a side note, how do you get notes to play on the same stave if they're not playing along with the melody of that stave? (You know? The notes that appear in red? sorry if there's a technical term for that that i'm oblivious to...) I've seen a few finale pieces do that, and I've always wondered how . . .

Don't mention it! The piano is where I feel the most comfortable at. If you'd like any more help with parts ask me. Keep in mind to use the middle register in "songs" a lot, unless it HAS the melody and keep the bass parts spread in themselves... when you write close parts in the bass, it becomes very heavy and doesn't sound too pretty.

AH! WE FINISHED IT!

Wow, it IS very Avenue Q-ish! Some of the voices also kinda reminded me of that Harry Potter clip (Snape, Snape, Severus Snape) LOL.

If it's possible, I'd play with the pannings and the balance. Personally, I'd prefer a more prominent piano, with a few glisses added for measure. :) Some light percussion wouldn't hurt, either, even if only cymbal taps or a tambourine. Nice job!

My favorite part was Dr. Pangloss from Candide...

That really entertained me! Was cool. Musically if had a good background and all was arrange and organized better, the results would be very good. I enjoyed listening to this.

As a mechanical engineer, I must say I had to face palm at may points in this song. XD