I'm sorry if I'm not allowed to make a thread like this, so remove it if you have to. ><;;

Plus... This is going to be a long rant, so sit back and grab a popcorn bag I suppose. :P

Anyhow... I've been wondering about this. I've been in band for... about 4 years. (This year being my fourth year in band.) I play the flute for concert/marching band and the tenor sax for jazz band. I play the flute extremely well and I've come a long way. It's not that I'm the top flute player, but I just play really well. I know how to sight-read music fairly quick and I know all 12 major scales, all in two octaves. Now this is what I'm stuck on... This one stupid question that will have lots of pros and cons.... Should I quit my school's band or should I just stick with it? My parents are pushing me to quit band, but honestly, in my opinion, I really want to stay in band. But...

Being in band.

Pros:
1. Spend time with a group playing the same music. So practically, it means that I play in a huge ensemble and won't have to practice all by myself.
2. Being in band is like being with a family...
3. Play amazing music that I've never heard before
4. Get to go march and do awesome stuff out in the football field and competitions.
5. Waste your time away from home.
6. Stress reliever! :D

Cons:
1. I really don't have much time to do stuff I really want to do anymore...
2. Being home really really late is not always a good idea... Especially when your parent's are picking you up. o_o
3. Practices are hot, sweaty, and tiring (for marching band.)
4. Spend a lot of time away from home, scratching out my study-time and spending quality time with my family.
5. Being in band sucks money out of your wallet. -.-''
6. Sunburns... Bug bites... Strange tanning lines... Urgh.
7. Sometimes being pressured in band isn't always a good thing. -.-
8. I have to miss out a lot of my classes, HOSA and Art Club meeting because of band. -.-


Not being in band.

Pros:
1. Awesome. I have more time to use freely.
2. I don't have to touch my instrument daily anymore.
3. I don't have to get pressured by other people.
4. I can take another class different from band. (Like I plan on taking Spanish 3)
5. I can join in clubs and won't have to worry that band practices will override it.

Cons:
1. Okay. My band director will hate me for life if I make this decision.
2. I will definately be hated by most of the people in band. (Though they shouldn't since this is MY choice, not their's.)
3. Since being in band is proven to raise people's thinking level, mine will decrease little by little. (Not sure if this is true, though.)
4. I won't get better on my instrument (unless I take private lessons)
5. Okay, what joy is it if you're not in band anymore?!


My parents are urging me to quit band and I don't want to, but they do have a couple of good points to not being in band anymore. So... what do you guys think the best choice is?

Why not quit just one band at first, and see how that works?

Just a little note from someone that was told not to play their instrument anymore and eventually stopped:

1. Music has a pacifying effect on your mind as a person. If you stop playing, you will notice that you will slowly stop thinking about the world the way you currently do. A lot of creativity spans from the mental exercise of playing the instrument; disconnecting that exercise will likely have an adverse effect to your state of mind and recognition. The only way to gain it back is to resume playing. No other art form has given me the same euphoric effect as playing an instrument, as no single art form is as momentary as musicianship.

2. People that play instruments are those that choose to play instruments. Very rarely will you find someone that's playing an instrument for the money or the fame; instead they are doing it for themselves. You will find a lot of selfless people in that field. Egotistical, but selfless, none-the-less.

3. It's very hard to return to it. Music really is an exercise more than a talent. If you don't actively work on it, you will lose it, and it will take a long time to pick it back up, often times resulting in personal frustration and termination of the attempt.

Why not quit just one band at first, and see how that works?

^ That. You will have chance to return in the future unless you are in your last year of school.

What M says is true also. But if you keep practicing by yourself or take private lessons, you won't return all dusty to the band. Personally I have not find it "very hard" to return to an instrument. But that would depend of how many years you have been playing and how proficient have been the practices. If you were a beginner with 1 or 2 years of practice it may be hard for you to return. If you have been practicing for more than 5 years, daily, and complex exercises and pieces it may be less hard to return to your instrument.

Looking at the wall of text, you really do not have a big desire to quit.

lol. True. I don't have any desire to give up my dreams for being a professional player in the future! >:3

Anyhow, back on subject... I'm not a senior or a junior, but a freshman currently, so... I might just not do marching band for next year since my parents are so worried about my grades and health. But... on the other hand... That's what makes marching band/concert band so good... For concert band, I can spend some time away from home, stress-free, and being in marching band gives this... thrill... when you finish your performance, people clap for you... It just feels really good in the inside. :)

So I'll take these into consideration and think carefully about my choices. I shouldn't make rash decisions right now.

If your grades are suffering too much, you might have to quit. By the looks of your first post, you're in 3 school ensembles: concert band, marching band, and jazz band. If flute is your favorite instrument, can't you quit jazz band and just stick to wind orchestra instead (and if you have time, marching band too)?

Might be better to just quit your least favorite ensemble if your grades are taking too much of a hit. My opinion: Play your favorite instrument and stay in the ensemble the will allow you to make best use of that instrument.


Disclaimer: This is merely my opinion and I agree with your choice not to make a rash decision. Hopefully you'll think it over long enough and make a choice you won't regret.

I shouldn't make rash decisions right now.

Great thinking. I agree with what everyone has suggested above as well.

I wish you the best with your decision...and take it from someone who was forced to take a year off of school after I graduated High School last year -- you're allowed to try out different things and go through change in high school... because after high school there are bigger "consequences" (let's say) when you make big changes >.> Anyway, just a word of experience :)

I won't say much, because this decision is really up to you, no one can make this decision better than you can.

What I would like to say is, don't be afraid of losing respect from you director/peers if you wish to quit your band. You've been in this game for 4 years, with such long-term experience, nobody has the right to tell you what to do. In fact, these people should commiserate with you if you decide to leave, you have contributed much to the group already.

Funny, this situation that you are having is exactly like working life. Given that you inform the company early, no one in your company has the right to decline or delay your resignation if you choose to quit, as long as you've stayed long enough.

So don't be afraid of social pressure if you choose to quit. :)

Thanks for the tips, you guys. Like I said earlier, I'll take this into consideration into helping me with what I should choose best.

Sadly, we have a town meeting at my old middle school tomorrow about the county's budget and they said that there's a 50% chance that the Fine Arts are going to be wiped out in Pasco County. That's totally unfair! No band, no chorus, no art, no music, no drama... This is simply UNFAIR. They won't get rid of sports (WTH?), so... If they decide to remove the fine arts, then this year is the last year in band for everyone. :( Maybe I'll try out for tennis or golf if I get the chance to if the fine arts is gone.

Back on topic, I'm really leaning toward staying in marching band, but... You'll just never know when I'll change my mind later on. So I'll just wait a bit and think it over.

Maybe I'll try out for tennis or golf if I get the chance to if the fine arts is gone.

Definitely tennis. Tennis girls are better than golf girls.

Definitely tennis. Tennis girls are better than golf girls.

Yes, well put. XD

Definitely tennis. Tennis girls are better than golf girls.

LOL. I was thinking about doing tennis more than golf, so yeah. I'll give tennis a shot. XD

thanks for post

Yep. When I post here again, that probably means I have another choice to face. This time, it's even more serious than before and I've already made my choice, but am unsure if it really is the right one. Anyhow, I'm just going to copy the question since I've already typed it out and I don't wanna do it again. :P

I've been in band for almost five years and I play multiple instruments. I mainly play the flute, in which I really love to play and practice all of the time. But now at my sophomore year, I feel really pressured by my school on the academics and I want to take as many classes that I want to take for the rest of my high school year. I also wanted to join in clubs and do afterschool activities that I love to do like the Chess Club and HOSA.

So in my previous year (freshman), I was in Marching Band, Concert Band, Jazz Band... All the band options you can ever think of. So I also joined in HOSA and they usually have afterschool meeting on Monday. I can never attend them and I can't even stay afterschool to ask my teacher about a question I have without being late to band. I use to have straight As in all of my classes before, but when I was in my freshman year, my grade has been shaking like crazy. Usually it's because I'm staying up late and not having enough time to study without any good rest after football games/competitions. What's even worse is that sometimes I have a test on the next day after one of those late band practices, which resulted me not doing so hot on a lot of my tests last year.

So this year, I'm planning to quit band and do become a normal student (er, more like a silent student like my usual self. :P). I really want to do the activities I like to do that I couldn't do last year because of band and I really want to have more time to study without having football seasons and band practices mess up my test grades. Also this year, I'm taking a couple of online classes (since my curiousity is killing me. X3)

But what makes me kind of nervous is how my high school band director is a "pusher." One of my friend last year wanted to quit band, even though he's really good on the clarinet. (He wanted to focus on his studies) So he went up to our band director and told her about quitting. Then ever since that day, she has been bothering him nonstop, always asking him to stay after class and ask why he wanted to quit band. (Since he's really really good at the clarinet) When he kept saying he didn't want to be in band, she even called his home everyday, in which pisses him off badly. What's even worse is that most of the band members in band kept on asking him multiple "Why" questions.

So in other words if you're too lazy to read all of that up there, I want to quit band and yes, I do love them and plan to continue in the future, but for now, I want to quit my school's band. However, I don't know what to react to with my band director. I really want to improve my academics score and join in clubs without having to worry about overlapping my band practices (in which I can't skip)

Thank you so much!

Additional Details
EDIT: I also forgot to mention, but for my school's band, ever since I started a fresh new year as a sophomore, my motivation for band is dwindling to the point where I'm not even interested in it. I love to be in band, but I don't feel motivated like I did last year. I don't have the dedication anymore as I have been in band for so long.

EDIT*: I sent my director an email and this is what I got (I subsituted my name and everyone else by username/other nicknames):

animefans12,


Okay, first, breathe! It sounds like you, just like myself, are feeling a little (or a lot!) anxiety about the start of band camp and the new school year. The good news is, this is what tells me that you would be successful at handling it! I would be worried if you WEREN'T worried about maintaining your academics and balancing band with it! It is totally normal to feel some anxiety right now as band camp approaches, but I know you well enough to know that you are very capable. I also know that you love band enough and are dedicated enough to make it work, and I will do whatever I can to help you!


Also, you had tried out for one of our FEATURE SPOTS in the show...


I'm going to ask drum major to give you a call. In fact, she may have already called you. I'm sure drum major is also really really worried and maybe even scared about managing being the drum major with her course load. Like I said, it is totally normal animefans12. Calm down, and lets talk again later this week okay?


You are too talented to let yourself get discouraged by the level of commitment, I know that if anyone can handle it, YOU can handle it, animefans12 ;-)


Band Director
By the way, did you notice I wore my shirt you gave me on Monday!?!?






On Jul 20, 2011, at 1:44 PM, animefans12 wrote:


Band Director

I know that this news will greatly affect both you and I. I have decided that I need to quit band. I know, you might be wondering: "What in tarnation is animefans12 thinking???" I'm also thinking of that also. It concerns me that I have so much classes to take this year, both online and offline and the stress is already building up within the summer. I love to be in band, I want to be in band! This choice is unavoidable. So I wanted to tell you ahead of time that I will not be in band at all for this year. I might be able to return to band in the future. For now, I'm not going to band camp, band practices, etc. I apologize for the sudden news as this will greatly affect the band and I am well aware of that. So in the beginning of the school year, I will return the piccolo to you so you won't have to worry about me not returning it.


Thank you for your understanding and if you have any further questions, you can contact us at:

I wish you all luck with your new marching season this year and hope you all make it to FMBC and place at least in the top 10! ^_^

________________________________________________

....EFFFFFF. Why did I even try out for the Feature Spot of the show in the first place!? Just to be honest, I really don't want to do school's band anymore because of OVERLOAD. I got a phone call and they are definately trying to pull me back in, which is now ticking me just a bit. So... help?

They sound desperate. It's like they only care about their band and aren't thinking about you at all.

Don't let them get to you. Just make the most of your highschool years the way you want it.

^Thanks Zero. I will definately take your advice. ^_^ And what you said is true. One of my friend has been harrassed by her so much by making him stay after class just to get an answer from him and calling his house everday. That's pretty creepy... x_x

And my band director is making me sound like I'm angry or upset, even though I'm calmly typing this. Though maybe that's because one of those misunderstanding about online messages? Anyhow, I wonder why she's talking about how I'm worried about band camp, even though I'm essentially pointing out band for the year overall.

Anyhow, I got another message from her, even though I didn't reply back:
__________________________________________________ _____
animefans12,


Another thing I did not mention is that I know you are really concerned about your academics because you are a college bound student. Keep in mind that colleges and major universities aren't just looking for students with 4.0+ gpas, they look equally at how well rounded a student is, and it looks great on college applications when you can show consistent commitment to extra curricular activities for all four years of high school. With your ability level, I wouldn't be surprised at all if you received a music scholarship after high school (even though you plan on studying something completely not music related).


I just want to be sure you have all of the information before you make a decision.


Band Director
__________________________________________________ ____________________
....Really? I've been in band for almost five years and I want to do other clubs and stay the rest of my high school year in like HOSA and the Chess Club. I already know that I don't just need perfect scores and I need to be a well-rounded student. In fact, even a person who have never experience high school and college before (*hint hint* That would be me. I'm the first person in my family to go to school in America) would know that piece of information. T_T

What I think is that you are a teenager in high school and youe getting your first glimps at the realities of growning up.

I was in a similar situation in my high school years. I was involved in the marching band, jazz ensamble, varsity swimming, mathletes, and college level courses. Many times my activities would clash with each other especially my swimming and music. I love to do both! There were times when I thought to myself that I wish I could be like other students and go home after school and do fun personal things and focus more on my studies. I spoke with my coach and my band director and what we came up with was that when I would have schedule conflicts, I would split my time between the two.

There were other things that I wished I could do like my school's chess club and Japanese club, but I knew that not only would band and swimming better round my college application, they would also provide more life lessons and help shape me to be a better person.

Now from my undergraduate years in college, I can tell you that your time management skills are not as strict as they probably should be. In fact, if I saw how I managed my time in my undergraduate years in high school, I would have thought I was hardly having any personal time to unwind. Other friends who I met in my undergraduate years have said the same thing. I think you may feel like you aren't having enough time to do the things you used to enjoy in your younger years. This is part of growing up. You'll see.

Now I don't think your band director is harrasing you or your friend. You have to look at this from his/her point of view. You have a student that auditions for spots in may of your ensambles and has always seemed pretty positive about his/her experience. Out of thin air this student says that he/she doesn't want to have anything to do with music. This screams foul play! Could there be some family issuses causeing the student to make this decision? Is the student stressed out? Your director only wants the best for you. He/she is just worried about you and means no harm.

What do I think? I think quitting band won't give you anymore time to focus on your grades. In fact I think you will see that eventually you'll become more lazy on that front. I say forget the other clubs and stick with band kiddo. ;)

^ While there's nothing wrong with what you're saying, there is a much darker side to this story.

Yes, it may be true that the band director does have her best interests in mind, but the director could also be solely concerned about the success of the band. Looking at how they're pestering her and her friend, that's what it looks like. You have to be aware of things like this, because people often don't have your best interests in mind. That's one of the lessons here. The tone of the director's first e-mail was one of desperation and persuasion. I can't humanly sense any sympathy or compassion there. Her only goal is to make sure they keep a band member from leaving. In the last e-mail, she's practically grasping at anything she can use to accomplish her goal. The band director's tone of voice gives me some serious red flags and warning signs.

I played in several orchestras for more years than I'd like to admit until grade 10, when I decided to stop all involvement to focus on other things that caught my interest. I started expanding my sphere of attention outwards and really started exploring what life was about. I started getting to know more people, getting to know people more deeply, getting into relationships, and doing all kinds of different things that allowed me to expand beyond the small world of what I thought life was. But you have to be willing to let go of what you deeply feel no longer serves you. Spending all that time playing in orchestras was one of them. At that point, I had to make the decision to let go of what was no longer serving me, and really feel into my heart to discover what I wanted to do, and what will help me grow more deeply. Playing in orchestras simply wasn't authentic and true to my deep calling at that point.

Highschool is that time of your life when you want to explore yourself. You don't want to be caught up in the crowd and end up following them. In general, the people around you will resist when you decide to take your life's direction in your own hands. Not because they are worried about you - they are worried about themselves. They have a vested interest in keeping you the same way that you currently are. They say they are thinking in your best interests, but they don't realize that to serve in your best interest, especially during Highschool, is for you to to explore yourself and do what your deepest inner voice is telling you to do.

It takes alot for anyone to accept and allow others to follow their own hearts. You won't learn this in ordinary life. Most people never do. Yet, some people come to a point in their life when they know, they know, that to continue on whatever they were doing, is not it. Whatever that use to take their interest no longer calls for them. Their hearts call them deeper, to what is more true and authentic.

The question is - will you follow the momentum of your past and the crowd (who may not know what best serves you or even themselves), or, will you follow your deepest heart?

@PorscheGTIII
You are right about being in band and staying in it will definately help boost my college application. However, even though I say that being band is not in my interest anymore after almost five years being with them, I don't plan on quitting my musical talent. I could practice them once in a while like what I do with my piano and enjoy it. I could take private lessons, yet for me, when I think deep about it, I really don't want to be in an ensemble at all. I like playing the music I choose to play. I like to play music on Ichigo's and I really want to have time to learn how to transcribe music for the flute (I'v been thinking about that ever since I joined here).

Though what I forgot to mention is how strict my parents are with grades. One little B in a progress report (yes, I said progress report) will definately set them on fire. No, please don't think of this as being unfair (even though I do think it is). They're only trying to set me up for going to a difficult college out of state. So in my freshman year, even though my grades are shaky, I managed to save myself with Bs on my semester exams, though that brought disappointment with my parents. I have only taken three freakin' honors classes that time. Now imagine if I take six honors classes (including online) and a AP class? I know I'll get this reaction: "You're overloading YOURSELF. Take less classes and chill out, will ya!?" To be perfectly honest, I do enjoy learning (ha ha. You got a geek and a silent nerd in real life here in Ichigo's) and I love to explore more in-dept with Chemistry, Calculus, Statistics, World History, etc. Though band has always been messing up my grades and I am deathly afraid of them screwing up my grades even more this year, there are always sacrifices to make.

So which should I choose to get rid of? Sleep, Education, Clubs (we do them in school if we can't attend afterschool) or Band?
Band looks like it's on meh list, even though I've spent almost five years with it. Looking deep within myself, I don't see a reason for band. I don't even want to become a professional marching band person in college. I want to be normal, not have another harsh part of band come hit me back.

@Zero
My band director is fine with treating others, but if you were in my class last year and during practices, you can already tell that she only wants success for the group, not individuals. I know we get to party and have fun at the end of marching our whole 10 minutes show to death. Though many band members in the past that tried to get out of band found it almost impossible because of her persuasion and the band leaders that were ordered by her. That makes the whole situation a lot worse actually.

Now what seems strange is that the players that are terrible at their instruments (please... I'm not trying to be mean, but they can't play a simple concert Bb scale without looking at their fingering charts, even though they are in band for almost five years) are let go easily from the band by my director. She seems like she's happy to get rid of them, actually. Then when there are players that are able to play well (like one of my friends that play the clarinet I noted earlier), she wants to keep them instead.

One thing I would like to note is how she changes her mind a lot about me. When we got our marching music on the first day, she told me I was going to play the bottom part. I was cool with it. Next week, she told me I'm playing the top part. I guess she must've changed her mind, so I just went along with it. Then the week after that, she switched me again. It actually made me feel a bit fustrated and for the feature spot on the show, I was actually the only one who auditioned it, yet she let others that haven't auditioned take my place. I'm not trying to say that I'm jealous, but if she were to do that, I could've saved some time and actually NOT audition and waste 30 minutes of my life, waiting at her front door.

********
Now you both have good reasons, though I'm leaning more toward to quitting band. Anymore advice on whether I should or shouldn't continue band with the band director I have is nice. Might either make me more or less convinced about my choices. ^_^ And sorry about the rant though. It's actually been quite a while since I've ranted to someone on the internet. Makes me feel a bit lighter now. ^_^

Got another email from her yet again even though I didn't reply back:

Hey, animefans12!


I hope you have had a couple of days to relax and think about the items I discussed in this email! I tried to give you a call, but I didn't get an answer. I will try back here in a little bit. I'd hate to see such a talented student close doors towards their future because of the anxiety of balancing everything. I'd be happy to help you through it; it would just be a take it day by day situation, but I know you could do it animefans12.


I hope I get a chance to speak to you soon!


Band Director
__________________________________________________ ____________
Sorry for double-posting, but I'm not quite sure with what to do anymore. When I look deep within myself, I don't want to do band anymore... I really don't want to do it this year. So what do you guys think I should do? Should I just tell her that when I looked back after coming back from the NSLC Program, I didn't want to do band anymore as I felt like I lost interest in it. So... Help?

And dude, scary enough, she's starting to call meh. :O

When I look deep within myself, I don't want to do band anymore... I really don't want to do it this year.

Looks like you already know the answer.

^Thanks Zero. I will definately tell her what I really feel like and she can't pressure me to go on anymore. If she does... Well, that gives me even more reasons to quit band. T.T

*Sigh* My director and one of the drum major called me and told me that it is IMPOSSIBLE to change my band class to one of the other class I wanted to take (which is Spanish III). I'm going to be nice and simplify my response: W.T.F.

Is it even possible to do that?! I thought it was possible to change classes?!

WTF is correct.

I'd speak with a counsellor or whoever's in charge of changing classes, and ask them do it.

The guidance counselor is gone during the summer until regristration day (which is the 16th). So Band Camp for marching band is from August 1st until.. IDK, two weeks? But anyhow, I'll try to recall what my drum major told me:

"animefans12, Band Director just talked to me right after I called and said that it's IMPOSSIBLE to change classes."
"DM, there's always a way to change classes in school-"
"af12, what if *you* were one of the students who couldn't switch out of band at all? Remember that one girl who just sat in class, doing nothing for one whole year? What happens if it were you? You don't want to let your grades in band class fail, right?"
"..."
"Now to also include, why don't you come to Band Camp anyway? I mean, you can't change your schedule until regristration day and there's not a lot of chance that you'll be able to change your classes during that time."
"..."

Are they trying to threaten me with my grades?! They know that I'm a college-bound student who will do anything just to go to graduate successfully, which basically means no "Bs" on any classes. So another "WTF" part is coming right up. I'm now trying to get in contact with at least one freakin' guidance counselor and nervously waiting for response.

To make a really lame joke on a serious note, are they trying to waste our money with phone line? They literally called me a hell lot more than I expect... Like they're spamming me. -_-"

Even if I liked band, I know I wouldn't want to be in a band directed by people who will use anything they can to try to get the good musicians to stay. That's enough shit from those directors.

Until the counselor's back, I'd look to other members of the school staff (maybe principal or vice-principal) who can help you with the situation.

Zero is correct, your school must provide you a chance to change out a class. The only say-so a teacher has in transferring a student to another course is if the class is full, or if it's too deep into the curriculum, and that's only from the teacher you are going to transfer to.

Thanks you both. Many people I've talked to in real life about quitting band told me to stay with unreasonable reasons that can be contradicted with the facts I know and my current situation.

But whatsoever, thank you again, M and Zero. It will definately help me out with quitting my school's band. I've always trusted my director the first day I came into the band room, but until my freshman year dragged on, she started to act arrogant and like a total b*tch. (Sorry for the fowl language there. I'm not the person who cusses, but this is the only exception I'll let my rage out.) I believe no one has the right to write a student's goal and student's high school life. Especially THIS band director. So I'll probably post back later on and see how the results are coming in, whether it's bad or good.