Here is my second composition. I have not orchestrated my first composition because it sucks. I have no name for my second composition either. However, I have worked rather long, as well as hard on it, and I am proud with what I have completed. I would greatly appreciate any criticism on it. Or, more blatantly put, please give me your unrestrained merciless criticism so I may improve my second composition. That doesn't mean you can't tell me what you liked, either.

I'm posting this here at Nightmare's request. It's his piece, he's just having troubles uploading it.

thats a lovely piece nightmare............sounds like a mixture of aeris theme with metal gear solid :lol:

hey... i remember you. in fact i remember this song. i listened to the rough draft for this song. and wow... you have really improved this song. i give you 7.5/10

You have a nice introduction . . the brass reminded me of royal elegance, so I was surprised and glad to see that it wasn’t the intended direction. Nice and soft background, complements the melody . . I really love that chord coming in at approximately 44 secs, really adds more to the layering of the harmony. I felt the transition to the repeat of the main melody at the 1 minute mark was a bit awkward . . the second ending to your first theme was better, mostly because it was meant to be complete, but not so complete so as to be unable to move on to the next section. Your second theme is also nice, because it’s not too distant from the first, so there’s a sense of connection and continuity. I liked the choir voices in this section, and how you modulated from minor to major. Hmm . . now that I think about it, the next set of endings sound ‘false’ to me, as if it was the conclusion to your piece, but it wasn’t, it was just the end to a section. Other than that, your composition is very good. Everything was clear, the mood was sweet. Keep it up!

*bump* I've been asked to post Nightmare's updated song =P

Completed3

Very harsh beginning to such a peaceful piece, giving it just the demand for attention that it deserves. I adore the flute's melody, but at times, the phrases seemed just a bit too stretched for their own good. The arpeggiating part (harp, right?) is a wonderful addition and gives this piece its backbone. The woodwind solo near the middle is also a beautiful part, and the male choir is my favorite part in this area of the song! Nice ornamentation of the melodic line. Also, the melodic line is never a problem to spot, thanks to your clear and precise orchestration of the melodies. :D Just when I thought it was over, you bring in that bittersweet melody again, only to be backed up by a delightful suspended chord resolution. Wonderfully done, but in the future, perhaps the string ensemble 2 or synth strings 2 items in the MIDI bank would suffice for the solo string parts. Finale's solo strings are so... unrealistic and hard on the ears! :P

Now THAT's the critique I'm looking for! Thanks, Gnomish :)

Wow, it's really beautifl. It kind of reminds me of a waterful, or something else peacful. it's really calm and soothing :)

Very nice Nightmare 9/10
What program do you use?

I use Finale 2003 and Finale 2004 (for mp3s.) I'm suprised to get some feedback. I thought no one really cared, lol. Actually, it probaly is true, but at least I got a few critiques!

=P Didn't I tell you to be patient in getting replies? Hehe . .

Completed.mp3

Oh my god, It´s such a beautiful song ^^. I Enjoyed every second when I listened to it. The melody flows really good, and the instruments sound kind of good =) . Keep up with the good job mate. More compositions pleaaase. =)

P.S. The sound at 2.20 min, doesn´t fit in the song. But besides that. It has a very good ending.

:D

Hmm, do you mean to speak of the choir, or the general use of the violin? I rather enjoyed that part, so....

*bump*

Alrighty. I must say I liked the main melody you used (although it did remind me of Aerith's Theme from FFVII). It's simple, clean and impossible to miss. I'm all for simple melodies as long as they are good (which yours is) and has good accompaniment behind it (which yours has not). I'm not sure about the brass as an introduction.. it's hard for me to interpret the meaning of the song, and I can't really put it in a scene either. If this is supposed to be a theme song of any kind, it has got to be more special - You have gotten the melody just right!

Listening to this piece of music reminds me of my own work. The choice of instruments, the chord progressions.. and sadly, bad orchestration X_X Yep, using flat-chord strings will let the melody shine above all else, but leaves the song flat. I'd suggest to get the bittersweet theme playing on other instruments throughout the song aswell. What I mean is, the oboe/strings/harp gets mega-predictable after a while.. so why not spice it up with another mixture?

There's this part I liked though, and it was the chord coming up around 00:43. It threw me off, I was so sure of another chord I didn't even see it coming, yet it was somehow pleasing. Well placed.

Originally posted by Noir7@Jul 1 2005, 10:03 AM
Listening to this piece of music reminds me of my own work.
Nightmare does think of you as the best composer on this site =P

Yeah, I got a new one. w00t for me. Please download it, and give me your critique. I think it's good enough that it doesn't sound like shit, but not that it's perfect. Can't believe it's been 3 pages already since my thread got put behind. And of course, I don't expect anyone to really reply in this thread but know that I appreciate any good criticism or comments that you have.

Strong points:
+This sounds very sweet.
+You actually have a theme, unlike many other composers in this forum.
+You have variance in orchestration.
+Nice counterpoint in the very beginning.

Weak points:
-The theme is never really developed, just repeated. (If you worked on that you could really increase the length of the piece. Some modulation or rhythmic diversity would be good.)
-The mood is kind of static. There's never any conflict and resolution. It would be good to have a second theme that creates tension with the first.
-The main theme wanders a little bit too much. That makes it not as memorable. I know it's annoying, but the good old 8 measure meldoy works.

EDIT:
With that said, you're approaching the kind of style that's very popular in movies and video games today. This is the kind of thing people like to hear, especially if you develop it a little more.

It's a nice song indeed.:)

Well, I'll mainly just address the technical issue since Alfonso has gone over the other stuff. Overall, everything is just too loud - I was a bit wary when the oboe came in, but fortunately it seems to only be loud on the higher notes, for some reason. But when the choir came in, everything just started clipping like crazy. I'm not sure if you have see the waveform when you record, but if you open it up with an editor, I can almost guarentee you that the part where the choir comes in will be a gigantic block nearly, clipped out at above 1 dB. Also, your samples are a bit too thinny, so everything sounds like it might have come from a vinyl player, but I guess it can't be helped depending on your situation. Overall, there are some musically interesting ideas (the theme does get developed some, though a more contrasting countermelody would've been nicer) going on here and there, but the production values are kinda distracting.