Hi,
I have been composing now for a few years and I need some people outside of my family to critique my work, since they seem to be a bit biased...anyways, some of this is music that I made for a video game that I always wanted to make, and am developing the story for. The only PROBLEM is (everyone laughs) that I don't have any people who know how to do 3D graphic designing. I'm also young (I can't even drive yet!), so I will never be able to get enough money to PAY for one...*sigh* Oh well. I'll just have to finish the story and some more music and send it in to like EA Games or something.
I know this sounds silly, but if anyone leaves comments about these songs, could you include a short description of what kinds of pictures pop into your head while you listen to the song (that actually have to do with the song).
BTW, some of these songs aren't completely finished, or are meant to repeat a few times (or a lot, like in a game).

Very interesting. I'm currently composing music for a game that my cousin is developing. Perhaps you could compose for him too?

Destroyed Water: I picture some sort of dark abyss, or perhaps a sewer, full of gel-like black liquid.

coolbeat: I picture someone travelling across a dirt road, sillhouted by the sun.

JTF: I picture a busy market full of hustle and bustle.

mystery: I imagine someone died and it's causing some sort of tragedy.

sad: I see a lonely spaniard on train tracks.

And that's that.

Wow...You're definitely the first person who has actually described pictures in their head. Other people I asked were like "Oh, it's so dern sad!" or "It's cool!" Thank you berry much.

Oh, and I'd love to help. Can I have part of the story?

I'm sure you can. The game's still in the planning stage, so I'm sure they're willing to accept any ideas. Plus, I don't think they have anyone working on story development yet. I'll make sure to e-mail them.

Here, will you talk to me on the email mrmcdoodles@msn.com? I would love any help I can get with my game too! Hehehehe...I'm such an amateur.

Alright. Good plan. You'll have to wait a couple of days though, I'm awfully busy and won't be free till monday, or possibly tuesday. I'm always happy to help and recieve help.

mystery.mid
This sounds like someone is in a tight spot. It sounds like the person is “trapped.” Each phrase in the piece is what that person is thinking on how to escape from that situation. That person is thinking all possibilities.

sad.mid
This sounds like someone lost something that’s valuable to him/her.

Destroyed water.mid
It sounds like someone is alone in a church. That person is praying for the safety of someone.

coolbeat.mid
This sounds like someone is preparing for battle.

JTF.mid
This sounds like someone is confused about something.

Destroyed Water:

Slowly, gently, she gripped the railing, taking the weight off her shaky feet. She felt queasy, staring down from the balcony at the sluggish parade that oozed down Sigooda alley towards the chapel. A wind blew into her face, playing with her long, black hair, so for once it did not impede her view. The same wind that ruffled the torches so far below. She should be down there, but she couldn't face it. They layed him to rest, too soon, not soon enough. An ending, a beginning; the future spread before her like a vast ocean, and she couldn't swim.

Coolbeat:

Nothing specific comes to mind. Probably a travel theme, fast paced, earth bound at first and then taking off, perhaps. Slowing down near the end (a choice of directions). Nothing concrete, though.

JTF:

No image; though I quite like the piece. :)

Mystery:

A shrine. Dark stairs leading downwards. Someone descending the steps with a candle in his/her hand. Has an ambiguous task to fulfill, and is assailed with both doubt and duty.

Sad:

Expanded melody + Orchestration, and this would make a good theme song, I think.

Thank you! I like your descriptive writing!

I just changed "coolbeat.mid" a bit. BTW, if any of you can think up cool names...I'm really bad at naming songs. I named one Moonshine once (before I knew what that was).

Now, I think I'll add another song. I composed it for a lullaby composing competition at my piano studio, and it won.
(http://www.angelfire.com/ut2/kidstories/Butros-Butros.mid)

Hm...very thoughtful piece. I can see someone looking over their dead friend's corpse when I hear this song.

I wish I had equipment to make a real recording of this song. It would sound about 100 times better.

I feel that way about my songs. If only stuff like that didn't cost so much money...

You said it, man! BTW, do you post on like EVERYTHING, or what? I'm pretty new to Ichigo's, but I've noticed your name all over!

I don't know. It's strange to me that you notice me, because no one else here really knows me at all.

Very nice set of songs especiallydestroyed water, Mystery, and cool beat. :) Destroyed water-It seems to be like some land ruined or something or some thing holy like maybe a cathedral ..not sure but nice
JTF-the first part reminds me of a village or town I think.
Mystery-Reminds me of the inside of a castle.
sad-well that is pretty much what is was. not in a bad way :heh:
coolbeat-One of my favorates it does sound like a battle or trying to hurry to find something, very nice one of my favorates.

some of this is music that I made for a video game that I always wanted to make, and am developing the story for. The only PROBLEM is (everyone laughs) that I don't have any people who know how to do 3D graphic designing. I'm also young, so I will never be able to get enough money to PAY for one...*sigh* Oh well. I'll just have to finish the story and some more music and send it in to like EA Games or something.
Does not sound silly at all. It reminds me...well of me. I do the same thing. Ive always wanted to make a game with my music, but I cant get the hang of programming I tried to learn some but very little @_@
Anyway keep trying with everything I think your doing a good job so far. ;)

The ones you picked are my favorites to.

Hi,
The only PROBLEM is (everyone laughs) that I don't have any people who know how to do 3D graphic designing. I'm also young (I can't even drive yet!), so I will never be able to get enough money to PAY for one...*sigh* Oh well. I'll just have to finish the story and some more music and send it in to EA games or something.


I don't mean to burst your idealistic bubble, but the odds of a major publisher picking up a game by someone with no street cred in the market is virtually nil. But since you are still pretty young, that also means you have quite a bit of potential if you put your efforts in the right direction. Start small and simple - graphics and music are only auxilary to the main component of game design, and that of course, is the gameplay mechanic itself. Try to see if you can't come up with (at least conceptually) an unique yet captivating style of gameplay, and then figure out all the technical demands needed to achieve it. Or, you could simply work of an already established genre (ie, FPS's, RPG's), but try to add your own unique elements and polish that would make it stand out (in a good way ;)). See if you can acquire these skills achieve your goals yourself (ie, Graphics Design, Coding, Sound Design), and if not, try to find online game development communities and try to recruit or join a team. Another thing is to perhaps join a Game-design specialized college (when you get to that age) like Full Sail or Digipen (or at least a game design program offered by a respectable college) and work from there. From what I've heard, these are probably the best places to "penetrate" the games industry (and probably learn, too). Cause like many other entertainment industries, it's very hard to become an "insider" in the games industry, but once you are there, half the battle is won :). I hope you take these suggestions into consideration, and perhaps plan out your future a bit (if, that is, you are very set on making games). Oh, and I'll listen and comment on your pieces in a bit.

Ok, thank you. The only comment I have to what you said is that most of that I already knew. I just don't know if I'll have any time in college since I already wanted to get a PhD in Astrophysics. I could probably get a minor in some of that stuff. My PhD friend had like three minors. Another thing is that some companies allow you to send in your ideas, such as this, to them. You can get like an apprenticeship and help make it, too. (If they like the idea, that is)

Or in my case, I'm not working with a licensed game. My cousin happens to be a very talented programmer, and has enrolled me to be the composer for his games. There are others working on his games too, designers, etc. I consider myself incredibly lucky to know someone with this ambition and be a part of this team. Which is why I'm trying to see if I can present this oppertunity to others and see if deathraider can help at all. Of course, I'm willing to ask on behalf on anyone, just tell me if you're interested.

Yes. I don't have anyone quite as experienced as your cousin sounds, but that's on thing I wanted to say too.

Or in my case, I'm not working with a licensed game. My cousin happens to be a very talented programmer, and has enrolled me to be the composer for his games. There are others working on his games too, designers, etc. I consider myself incredibly lucky to know someone with this ambition and be a part of this team. Which is why I'm trying to see if I can present this oppertunity to others and see if deathraider can help at all. Of course, I'm willing to ask on behalf on anyone, just tell me if you're interested.

I hope you don't get screwed over. Game designers tend to have a quick change of mind. -_-

Yes, but cousins tend to favor their family members. I doubt his cousin would "screw him over." Since I'M the primary game director, though it seems funny saying that seeing how dinky the project really is, (and I wonder if any of you really understand how dinky it is) I doubt I'll get screwed over unless someone steals the whole idea! As long as they actually go through with it and don't change too much, I wouldn't feel TOO bad, though. BTW, if anyone wants to read the STORY so far of my game, go to www.angelfire.com/ut2/kidstories/my_book.html

This is off-topic, but that story was in my opinion waaaay to cheasy and fairytale like. Arh, it's not my game <.<

Once again with the bad spelling. How can you have even READ it all by now? It's like 20-something pages long! Oh, and you should have skipped the prologue. Sorry, it is WAY overdue for an update. The rest of what I have so far should be up to date.

Ok, thank you. The only comment I have to what you said is that most of that I already knew. I just don't know if I'll have any time in college since I already wanted to get a PhD in Astrophysics. I could probably get a minor in some of that stuff. My PhD friend had like three minors. Another thing is that some companies allow you to send in your ideas, such as this, to them. You can get like an apprenticeship and help make it, too. (If they like the idea, that is)

By apprenticeship, do your mean... internship? (we're not living in the 1800s anymore, my friend ;)) To that, I have say, only if you have a remarkable innovative idea would they even bother glancing at it (I'm sure they get loads and loads of mail/email for suggestions). And even then, there's always the risk of them simply using the idea without giving you any credit (much less any $$$) - you are an outsider to the industry, and can't really claim originality (or at least, can't prove it - it's very hard to copyright an idea, especially if you haven't made something out of it - and even then, people are usually free to borrow from it as they wish, with only minor changes (ie, all the GTA clones). But if aren't really serious about it, you can just keep it at a hobby level (go play around in all the RPG Maker boards, for all I care). I don't think you'll have much time if you are interested in obtaining a PhD in Astrophysics (although, the three founders of Bioware were all MDs, though apparently they abandoned that path and became game developers, except for one guy who went back into practice later). Anyways, your music -

coolbeat - First of all, I was quite confused when the trombone came in when I was playing it in my sequencer - then I realized it was because you didn't assign a patch number at all... soooo, I'll just assume it's a piano piece, though it certainly isn't playable with two hands with the constant, unwavering 8ths on the bass (which, by the way, isn't quite my idea of a "cool beat"). There are some interesting progressions which reminded me of the FF8 battle theme, but that was pretty much it - it didn't really progress at all from there; only what seemed like a mild attempt to do a theme and variations piece, but abruptly ending with no attempt to loop to the beginning...... I really have to question your effort for this piece, because even for an amateur video game, you should at least try to make the piece as solid as you can, if only to better yourself. The constant bass notes sort of give it a driven feel, and the other similarities to the FF8 battle theme make me feel like it's a (guess what? :P) battle theme. Except, it sounds like someone tried to compress it into a "Piano Collection"-like piece, in a very unintuitive manner...

Destroyed water - The warm pads are not a good instrument choice for this piece, especially on the MS-GS, and the end result is a very muddled and unclear sounding piece; I had to change it to acoustic pianos to make something out of it. It doesn't sound too bad, but it's not particularly outstanding either - the unimpressionable melody is overshadowed half the time by the more or a less constant barrage of chords. And it ends unmarvelously - again, with no attempt to loop the piece... as for what it makes me think of... someone drowning in porridge... really, really, thick porridge :P.

JTF - This feels more like a chord progression (again) than a full-fledged piece. The transitions (or lack thereof) really makes it feel quickly slapped together, lacking planning and premeditation. It's really too spastic and incoherant to work for background music.

mystery - This one actually has a somewhat catchy theme, though it sounds very derivative. Also, simply doubling the entire track with another patch generally doesn't count as very good instrumentation for me... you should assign the different instrument different roles based on their timbre (ie, the piano can play most of the melodic parts, or fast arpeggiated harmony - the chorus can be used to reinforce the harmony with sustained notes, or play very legato melodic parts). Some of the transitions were kind of unsmooth, but other than that, this is probably the best of the pack, at least in terms of musical depth. It's hard for me to pin one feeling on this piece, though... the more melodic part sounds kinda "Russian" and playful to me, in a comical way. But the slower more solemn parts sound too formal and don't contrast in meaningful manner (or at least, not for generic themes - it might work for a very specific setting).

sad - Whee, another chord progression piece (the "melody" is pretty much all enharmonic notes), though this one's a lot smoother than the last (except for that transition at ms. 34). However, it's also a lot less interesting as well, since it pretty much doesn't deviate from the initial formula at all. The harmony might give the sensation, but the very straightforward arpeggiated accompaniment doesn't really enhance it (and making it "beaty" near the end with those low bass notes drives it even further from the point). This piece, to me though, is probably the most generic of the bunch - you could probably fit it in every other context you can think of. This piece almost loops too, if you don't put the last sustained note in, and instead make it continue... maybe a game over screen or something, hmm.

So in conclusion: For some arcane reason, I expected a bit more professionalism from someone who claimed to have been composing music for "a few years". Sure, there are some interesting ideas, but they haven't really been developed in any meanful ways for the most part, and the instrumentation gets in the way of the music more than it enhances it. Some of these sound too complex, while others are too simple... you really need to try to moderate and control your composition process some (I assume that these probably were probably done in a sitting each, or less) so that the piece forms a logical and enjoyable whole. You have some potential, but you really need to put more effort in if you want to build towards it.

And another thing... I wouldn't be mouthing off to a moderator in such a condescending tone if I were you... just a thought ;).

Wow, that was harsh. I didn't much like your music either. It just sounded too slapped together and random! I guess I shouldn't just be bashing you though. I thank you for the advice, but you might have been a bit gentler. I mean, give me a break! I'm only fourteen and I haven't had any training in compositionary arts! I have been composing for 8 years, but only seriously for 3. I compose what I want, and it works for me. I like my music, and I just wanted to see if anyone else liked my style. One more thing. Did you even READ the beggining post on this thread? I said some of them aren't finished yet, and some of them are meant to repeat, but they can only do it in my composing program (cakewalk music creator). I just kind of wanted to see if anyone liked them. I can see that YOU don't. And if you were suggesting that I was stealing from the FF8 theme, I've never even played it.

Well, it might have been harsh, but at least it was constructive, right? I actually outlined the reasons why your music doesn't sound right to me, while I only got an "it sounded justed too slapped together and random" from you? And from what I hear, these pieces really aren't worth finishing, unless by that you mean a complete rehaul. It's not wrong to like your own music, but be mindful of other's opinions, too - and don't be too smug about your own musical ability, or else you'll never get anywhere (even after 5 years, there's still yet a piece from the 100+ or so I've composed that I consider perfect - there's always room from improvement). You have to adopt this attitude to develop as a composer, not just lash out at anyone who doesn't agree with you. It may be nicer to have kind words, but when they are filled mostly with fluff, they're not really going to help you as much as real criticism would.

By the way, I simply said coolbeat sounded similar to the FF8 battle theme, not that you stole from it, and why it sounds most like a battle theme to me; besides, it's not uncommon that you (not you, composers in general) end up creating a piece of music that sounds very much like another's, even if they didn't intentionally mean it (or even knowningly heard the music).

"Real criticism," as you call it, isn't necessarily constructive. I welcome constructive criticism, but there are just some people out there who think to be honest means you have to be rude about it. I don't know why your telling me not to be smug about my music, but you are the one who said: 'For some arcane reason, I expected a bit more professionalism from someone who claimed to have been composing music for "a few years".' Can you SEE how unneccessarily snotty, cocky, and sarcastic that sounds? I even LIKE sarcasm! I didn't get a whole lot out of what you said, seeing that it felt like all you were doing was finding every possible fault with my music. I PERSONALLY didn't want you to critique it with so much detail. I would have been happy with the mental imagery. You ALSO don't need to shoot me down on the game. You might not think it's a good idea, and that it's a waste of time, but that doesn't mean you need to tell me I should quit. Like I said, I don't really care that much if someone steals my idea, as long as they go through with it. If they don't, then there's nothing to worry about anyway, is there?

I looked at some of your other critiques, and none of them seemed NEARLY as yours for my music. I don't see why you hate me!

Oh yeh, that part - I forgot about it, since I was originally only going to post that paragraph for criticism and be done with it. However, I decided (against my better feelings) to spend nearly an hour giving you what I honestly felt about the pieces and how you could stand to improve them in my opinion. And that's what they are - simply suggestions from my point of view - in no way did I intend for them to be dogmatic. I don't understand why you have to feel so defensive about it.

As for getting into the Gaming Industry, I simply gave you all the hard facts as is (and I wasn't trying to discourage you, but warn you... and didn't you see the example about Bioware - it is possible to manage such polar careers, though I imagine it would take a lot of effort - something that I feel you could probably show more of).

Generally, I find it easier to get through to people when I don't bullshit around with pretentious buffs, but I guess in your case, it's quite the opposite.

EDIT: Either I hate your music, or I find more qualifying factors in theirs. Since I can't seem convince you of the latter, I guess I reluctantly accept the formerer. Yes, your music is trash which isn't worth the power that it takes for them to be played by my speakers. Happy, now? Well, I guess I won't be posting in this thread anymore. Ciao.

And HE said it's hard to get through to people! Geez, I wish some people would get it through their head that you don't have to bash someone to get a point through! I wish he HADN'T spent an hour finding faults with my music. It quite disturbs me that he finds such fault in the fact that I resent his rudeness. I don't understand why some people get so uptight when I try to tell them that they don't NEED to be so mean! Why me? He seemed to be nice enough when posting on OTHER people's music. Maybe it's just resentment to the fact that I said, in a more gentle manner, that I thought his music had very little melody.

I didn't get a whole lot out of what you said, seeing that it felt like all you were doing was finding every possible fault with my music. I PERSONALLY didn't want you to critique it with so much detail.
In my (very humble) opinion, it's the sole purpose of this forum to "find every possible fault with ones music" and to get rid of those faults.
I also don't think he intended to be rude, but rather said what's from his point of view realistic. I better shut up now though, before you guys beginn argue with me too.
AND anyway, this is way off topic. :topic:

Yeah, sorry. It's over, and I would delete all of it if I could. Maybe we should close this thread and I'll open another one. I do agree that finding faults is why were here, but no the ONLY reason. Fellow artist should also be supportive. I'm really sorry all this is here, it's all my fault. I was harsh towards his work without realizing it, and he took it how most of us would. I'm really sorry spc1st, please forgive me for being so rude to you first, and thanks for the advice. I'll take it into consideration, and keep improving my music.

"coolbeat" - awesome song. i like these kinda songs. 7.5/10 i give you. this post should bump us back to the topic. i dont really have comments for the rest of your compositions.

Yay! Back on topic! Thanks. I'm glad you like it.

I liked "mystery" and "sad." I couldn't hear "coolbeat."

FYI: I started this thread over on "Can I start over". sorry for the inconvenience, but this thread is not up to date and I would rather not use it.

You should request to have this thread closed since you have a new one.

Pretty sure I did.

You already requested to close this thread.... I dont think so wouldnt it be closed by now? EDIT-ya you said maybe it should be better to close it.
Would someone plz close this thread for deathraider. You did want it closed didnt you :heh:

Yeah, sorry. It's over, and I would delete all of it if I could. Maybe we should close this thread and I'll open another one.
Guess not (unless this isn't enough of a hint). If it isn't, I'll say it more clearly. Will a mod please close this thread?

Guess not (unless this isn't enough of a hint). If it isn't, I'll say it more clearly. Will a mod please close this thread?
Ya you have to clearly request it. ;) It seemed like you kinda werent sure. :)


So plz close this thread for him. Well you already said it but just in case. :heh:

Okay, well there you go. Sometimes, sometimes...Oh well. Anyways. Yeah, please post on "Can I start over?" http://forums.ichigos.com/showthread.php?t=4573

closed on request.