...feel free to give me some constructive critique

I edited your post. For my reasoning see http://forums.ichigos.com/index.php?showto...t=0&#entry16124 (http://forums.ichigos.com/index.php?showtopic=629&st=0&#entry16124)

Originally posted by Gand@Jun 17 2004, 03:31 AM
I edited your post. For my reasoning see http://forums.ichigos.com/index.php?showto...t=0&#entry16124 (http://forums.ichigos.com/index.php?showtopic=629&st=0&#entry16124)
ok, thanks baby girl, well are you gonna review it or not? ^_~

I felt no major improvements from the last one, you just made it longer right? Well, I still think that the strings do not belong here, and they sound false. The piano part is stable, and the new added choir in the latter section of the song is mediocre. Hm..the strings that followed after about 01:5 were better, and more organized but I still don't think that the strings make the song sound better at all. This composition needs more of a solid....form, I guess. It's not too random but it's not convincing. If you want people to think "Oh my, this is good" you must try to create a good/catchy melody, and then worry about its form. Alphonse knows alot about this I guess, because most of his compositions do have a very constructive form. So anyways, I don' think you made too much improvement on this version of the song, but that's my opinion.

3.5/10 - needs improvement

Originally posted by Noir7@Jun 17 2004, 08:37 AM
I felt no major improvements from the last one, you just made it longer right? Well, I still think that the strings do not belong here, and they sound false. The piano part is stable, and the new added choir in the latter section of the song is mediocre. Hm..the strings that followed after about 01:5 were better, and more organized but I still don't think that the strings make the song sound better at all. This composition needs more of a solid....form, I guess. It's not too random but it's not convincing. If you want people to think "Oh my, this is good" you must try to create a good/catchy melody, and then worry about its form. Alphonse knows alot about this I guess, because most of his compositions do have a very constructive form. So anyways, I don' think you made too much improvement on this version of the song, but that's my opinion.

3.5/10 - needs improvement
Fair enough. Can you link me to one of your compositions?

I don't know what they have to do with this thread...but if you want to listen to them they're in my composition thread, 1st page.

When you meant baby girl were you talking to Gand? Because he's a GUY!!

Originally posted by Ayanami@Jun 17 2004, 02:59 PM
When you meant baby girl were you talking to Gand? Because he's a GUY!!
Wtf eww, i take that back.

baby girl wtf..:eyebrow:

anyway...

it's hard to figure out where this song is going... not bad overall though... it is a bit repetitive though (the string whole notes and piano melodies), and could use some dynamics. Ack! and the ending doesn't really end... needs like one more note! Overall I'd say 6.5/10.