Hey, this is my first composition. please judge it, and tell me what you think.
I'm open for suggestions! This is still unfinished though, so there.

It's boring. And empty.

The dissonance and repitition by the beginning; well, I found it annoying. Even if it is supposed to be sad, it doesn't mean it has to be a simplistic and slow piano solo.

Too simple, too slow, and only a piano. I didn't find that to be such a good idea.

Then again, it's your first composition, so I'd say it's pretty good for a start.

Hmmm.... how to put this: There are illegal chord shifts (not that it is bad) and a lack of a standard tonality.

I really like what you did from measure 5-7 and opened up the piano's chords, though in measure 8 the progression seemes to loop back to the orginal; I expected one more chord progression to add some tention and a resultion chord then loop to orginal idea or another idea. I think if you made the base line have the downbeat chord, follow it by a rythemed(sp?) note, and add a musical varation on the theme it would make it flow a little more like a balad.

mm. 13-14 kill me each time I listened. What kind of chord was it that you used in treble clef: B-A-D-F. Then you follow it with a melody off key. My current teacher would take a baton to you head!!! But oddly the piece does flow in a haunting sense. It does seem to have a good melody that could be built off of. Proper petaling would be a good plus.

All in all it isn't bad at all for a first composition (far better than my Race to the stars which was an atonal/tonal piece @.@ I'd give it a 1.7/10). Don't let my grade take offense to your piece, I am gradeing it based off of a scale of 1 (which basically is a piece that should never have even been though of) to 10 (somthing a symphony orchestra would play)

3.7/10

I thought the dissonance in the beginning was kind of interesting, but you never really expand on it. The first two sections felt kinda disjointed from the melodic section - you might want to develop them more thoroughly before going onto the next, perhaps introducing a minor melody to contrast with the major one later on. Speaking which, it seems there is some minor/major ambiguity in that section (mm. 13-14), as Mies mentioned. You might want to just do one or the other - as it is now, it doesn't really feel agreeable with the general mood of the piece. Some of the other chord choices could've been better, but they aren't too out of place I guess. These are just some things you may want to consider as you finish the piece.

You see, this was made by cramming. I never had experience in composing, and Although I play piano, I don't really play that good. I just copy what I heard. And those illegal chords were just accident. I don't really know.

And also forgive me for the following words:

I really hate the shit. It's all bullshit. I don't know how to start it though.

Any good composers there? I'll give the lyrics I gave, and please help me make a tune. This is about friendship, and even if they go away, they would still be together in each others heart. In short, the theme is:

"Friendship, and it's effects."

Can anyone help me?

I think it's up to you. :P

Really? thanks! But I don't know about this....
Wait, here:

"Together with You"

I know it's time to go on our own ways
The times that we had was not only for a day
For me the times that we shared had been fun
But now, it's so difficult to know you were gone

I can't beleive it's true
'Coz I feel so blue
But I know for sure
That I'll go with you

I can't forget about you
The things I did for you
I can't live one day
If I see you astray
I want you with me
Together will be free
Just let us go
Together with you

Sometime I wonder if we need to part
Is it because of the reasons why you need to depart?
Just in case you will go away
Just remember we'll go with you till the end

If I see the sun,
If I feel the wind
I know you will stay
Forever in my heart

I know I won't forget
That you are not alone
We will be with you
'Till the end of time
Let's kick the saddness out
With a smile on our faces
All of us together,
Together with you

The dreams are falling
In places we've been
But I know I can keep
You in my heart

**

All of us together
Together forever
We can become stronger
Together, with you....

~End~

The rhyming is:
A
B
C
A
B
C
D
C
C
E

So, there....

I could help you, but I want to narrow down the lyrics. Something like a ABAB structure would help a lot, could you arrange that? Where A is the verse, and B is the chorus.

You go on ahead... I'll see... After you make one.... Is that ok?

Hey, If I could, I would like to make it a contest, but no prize. I'll change the topic soon...