Over the past year, I have felt new ideas pop in my head and old ideas pop out. Before, I loved my parents and respected their every idea. I also respected almost all adults too.

But now, a 13 year old, I am starting to lose hope in many adults. I still love my parents, but every day my respect for them isnt as much as the day before. They say elders should be respected. All adults say that. Then I say, "What if the adult is a 30 year old, raging alcoholic, and theres a 15 year old in collage? Should we still respect the adult then?". They just stop talking.

Then other times adults are so hypocrytical. More then teens and childrens actualy. My dad allways says "You have arms and legs, go get it your self". Then later he complain how hungry he is, and just say hes hungry over and over untill someone goes to get him food to shut him up. Other times when you show up an adult with a better comment then theirs, or something to contradict their idea and they dont talk. They just ignoire everyone who talks about it too.

And recently, Im losing hope and respect for my peers too. Both my peers and other adults, even my parents, have to ask for somthing and end it with a threat. Go clean the dishes or ill smack you, go put your backpack somewhere else or ill ground you. Why cant you just ask without the threats? I will do what you ask, with or with out threats, but its just more friendly with out.

~

So my problem is this, Is it just a phase in a teens life to contradict and lose respect in adults? I also wonder if other people are starting to do the same thing.

Yes, it is just a phase. No offence but teenagers are stupid. I was there once, but now being 18 your mind matures more and allows you to see more of the adult point of view. Kids just seem to get younger and younger, and seeing them do the things you once did just doesn't feel right. You just want to jump and yell at them "What the hell are you doing?!" but then you remember you were there and you did the same thing. Don't push your parents aside, they only want what is best for you. I mean I've been having lots of problems with my Fiance' these past days and I tell you, your parents can be some of the best to talk to. Because like you, they were there, they went through the same things you are going through right now. I know you've probably heard that so many times that your ears are bleeding from it and thinking "no way did they go through this!" but it's true, maybe not the egg-zackt thing you are. but close enough that they can help you.

Now as for the hypicydical thing, that is their own choice to be lazy or what ever. and being shown up by a little comment then them not talking, Hell they are humans too. you can't tell me that if you go and make a joke, people laugh, but then the next guy makes an even funnier joke and everyone laughs histarically, that you wouldn't feel a bit "shown up"

To deal with punishments and what not from you parents, you have to do it like milking a porky-pine, very carefully. Don't push your luck. Do the little things that they nag you about, yeah sure it can get really annoying but if they don't tell you are you really gonna get around to doing it any time soon?
Some times the threats are just empty threats (but only some, remember, don't push your luck) they sometimes say them things just so you will do it. Now, if they accually ground you just for not putting your backpack away then that is a bit far, and in my opinion very stupid and cruel.

Some times all you need to do is pull them a side and talk with them seriosly, say something like "Mom, Dad, can I talk to you" then that opens the door. Then you tell them your feelings on how you feel about their disiplin rules, open mindly may I add, you just don't start pointing fingers at them then that just starts a big fight. Use words like "I feel like..." and listen to what they have to say.

But like I said it is all just a phase you are going through, you are exploring you idividuality.You are just starting to think for yourself. But when you get married the whole "thinking for your self" ends there. lol nah just kidding, love is a great thing and you parents have and unlimited amout that they want to give you.

Makes sense.

~

Another thing I forgot to talk about is my expressing my individuality and just being myself. My parents want every aspect of my life in their way. My hand writing, my hair, the way I talk (which is just a bunch of big words BTW) and things like that.

My mom is all about first impression. She says "What is someone going to think about you if they see you with that kind of clothes and that haircut?". I say if someone isnt going to bother to find out that im a great students that does a lot of art and has a good writing skills, so be it. Let them miss out on a great person to be friends with.

So I guess its just that my parents arnt arnt allowing me space to be myself. Hell, if I got my way I would be in a black leather trench coat with colored contacts. I think once you let someone tell you what to do, you lose all sense of individuality, which is one of the big parts of life. But I am trying to do as many things that they like that still gives me room to be my self.

~

Im not really sure now, it just seems like Im just ranting on about crap now...

lol yeah it does. but don't loose you thoughts and feelings of your individuality, that is what makes you who you are, because there is a time for it and time for being "profetional"if you know what I mean.

Lols. Profetional. My parents think I dress "dirty", yet in school someone asked if I used to go to a private school because I was complaining that my pants were riding too low and there were "a lot" of pine needles on me...

So yea, please keep this topic open admins. I dont want to take up room making a new thread for my problems agian.

lol that is what blogging is for. ^^ but I'm happy to help you with your problems.

No offence but teenagers are stupid.

OFF-TOPIC: Yep. So are children. And so are adults. And some old people. I guess that makes most of us stupid, doesn't it? :huh:

But teenagers are in the middle of adulthood and childhood, so that makes them twice as normally stupid... :shifty:

Makes sense.

~

Another thing I forgot to talk about is my expressing my individuality and just being myself. My parents want every aspect of my life in their way. My hand writing, my hair, the way I talk (which is just a bunch of big words BTW) and things like that.

My mom is all about first impression. She says "What is someone going to think about you if they see you with that kind of clothes and that haircut?". I say if someone isnt going to bother to find out that im a great students that does a lot of art and has a good writing skills, so be it. Let them miss out on a great person to be friends with.

So I guess its just that my parents arnt arnt allowing me space to be myself. Hell, if I got my way I would be in a black leather trench coat with colored contacts. I think once you let someone tell you what to do, you lose all sense of individuality, which is one of the big parts of life. But I am trying to do as many things that they like that still gives me room to be my self.

~

Im not really sure now, it just seems like Im just ranting on about crap now...

I'll try my best to sort out what I'm thinking in fragmented blocks. I can't seem to form it correctly right now (I'm still in hangover mode from the new year), but I'll try my best!

Are you sure that's your individuality? It sounds like you're trying to look the part of a group. Sure, that's a choice you make yourself (which is the definition of personality), but that's not individuality. I'm not trying to point fingers at anything, but it sounds like your looking for some self-identification. When a teen is at your age, they try to find out exactly who and what they are. "Am I a cool person?" "Do I fit in that click(it's the wrong spelling, I know)?" "Am I truly like that?" All of these become present inside your mind because your mentality has just reached a level that you reflect upon yourself. And it all leads into self questioning and confusion that is pressed outwards. Teens don't like the feeling of losing control or confusion (there's a newfound confort in this reflective thinking), so they try to find a way to dimish or completely exterminate that feeling. They take the future into there own hands.

Everyone wants to have space, a place of orgin, a spot that belongs only to them, an area that is not judged by anyone other than themselves. The problem with that is reality, and that is what your parents are trying to teach you.

Socity, in rule, is harsh. You cannot be just anyone to be sucessful; you have to amount to something, and I'm not talking about intelegence, or your abilities (that's a completely different subject). Is it not intresting how a person in a suit is classified as a "professional" and more educated than a person in a flanel shirt and bluejeans? Is it not intresting to watch a person that uses larger words be more convincing that a person that uses a smaler dialect? That's how socity looks at life, and your parents are trying to show you the most traveled road. They want you to be professional. They want you to be the best.

There's also the possiblity that your parents are trying to identify you so they can better relate to you, and become more involved in your life.. I don't know about your sibling situation (if you even have siblings) but it's possible that this is the first time this kind of situation has ever happened to them.

When I had this situation I chose to detach myself from my family and friends. Sure, I still loved my Mother, Father and Brother, and I still coversed with others, but I decided not to reveal anything about myself to them and not become too involved in famaly affairs (no different from how people handle a forum, really). I could have cared less for my peers that I went to school with, for they didn't care about me, nor did they know who or what I was. I had to worry about me, myself and I, and just that. Needless to say, I came out just fine. I'm not introverted to the point of not speaking to anyone, nor am I extroverted and speak too freely to others. Do not worry about either of the two paths. You'll still survive.

This is a personal problem indeed. It's labeled that because it is personal. Others cannot decided it for you. It is something you have to solve, and I'm pretty sure that you already have the decision inside your mind, but your afraid to make the decisive move. Don't be afraid of it. Embrace the decision you made. You can't wait for things to happen around you. If you do, nothing will change, and the situation will just mulitply. So long as YOU know that the decision is your choice. I only suggest that you look far, far into the future on the choice and make certain that you're certain about it, and the outcome is satasfatory for yourself.

[Originally Posted by Sukate
No offence but teenagers are stupid.


OFF-TOPIC: Yep. So are children. And so are adults. And some old people. I guess that makes most of us stupid, doesn't it?

But teenagers are in the middle of adulthood and childhood, so that makes them twice as normally stupid...

Wow, as saying how "stupid" people are, the target mainly seems to be teenagers. As a teenager, I would get offended by that because it is a majority stereotype. And as someone who hates stereotyping, I think that people who do, are stupid.

Ye adults can be more critical than teens... at times. Yea, I hate it when they tell you to get something yourself, but they want you to get them something. Also I hate how when they don't listen, like they don't give two shits.

Jeez, parents aren't elders. Wise ones are elders that are "old" you can say. Just my opinion.

Euggg.... I think this thread should be closed now. I think it would be better for the all of us if I bring my problems else where, because this is turning out to be a "Post things you hate about adults" thread.

Close please!

Another thing I forgot to talk about is my expressing my individuality and just being myself. My parents want every aspect of my life in their way. My hand writing, my hair, the way I talk (which is just a bunch of big words BTW) and things like that.

When it comes to these kinds of situation, I always say, "Don't let other people live your life." I mean like why bother hav a life if you can't live it? You make your own decisions. If you feel like doing what they want, do it. If you don't, well, hmmmm...it depends on what they're making you do. If it's like, "Clean up your room" or something, well then, just do it out of respect for them. Do things that you're comfortable with.

Dang! Even your handwriting? This is all I can say about your parents. Masyado nilang pinakekelaman ang buhay mo. Translation: They butt in in your life too much.

Euggg.... I think this thread should be closed now. I think it would be better for the all of us if I bring my problems else where, because this is turning out to be a "Post things you hate about adults" thread.

Close please!

You told people on this forum about how your losing respect for adults, so there's bound to be some discussion about it, no real point in opening a new thread because chances are it will disappear very quickly.

I think people resort to threats not because they're bad or have no brains. It's just that it gives people the feeling of power and control, I mean if you say that you're loosing respect for your parents and your peers, think about that. I mean I'm pretty sure that you've asked for things in a threatening way. Because everyone has and does more frequently than one likes the admit. We're human, we're not perfect, we make mistakes, we admit that we made them and ask for forgiveness.

I myself get yelled at a lot, well not a lot a lot. It's like a compremise. My parents work and spend money on me, and in return I work hard and make them proud. I usually get yelled at over nothing. My parents are lots of fun at times and totally serious at others. Both of them always say " OMG your so short, you need to eat more! You better not be going on a diet or else we'll kick you out of the house!"
No matter how weird or silly my parents get I still respect them because they were the ones who brought me into the world and I reessemble them in everyway because of that.

So saying that you're loosing respect to your parents in like in a way saying You don't respect yourself~ and it's also like saying "yo momma" to yourself... kinda.. uh.. :think:

Well, think of it like this. My parents dont know im gay, so its hard on me when they say harsh things about homosexuals and just so many steriotypes about them.

Im losing respect for them probably because they cant show respect for others diffrences.

Your Gay? I never knew that...
oh, Para.. I thought Para was a girl...
You must have meant Paradox huh... I'm so slow... (_ _)
Sorry man...

Anywho, their your parents, your only 13, they would HAVE to accept you no matter who you like. The worst they can do is send you to a non-gay mental institude which you can break out of and call for child abuse.
Sue them in SF, you'll win~

Is it just a phase in a teens life to contradict and lose respect in adults?


Yeah, it's called puberty.

They say elders should be respected.

Respect has to be earned; you can’t just automatically gain respect because you are older, or because you have the label “mum“ or “dad” or whatever- yes, everyone deserves respect, but some people just aren’t capable of giving any in which case they receive none.


Then other times adults are so hypocrytical.

That’s just human nature, I’m afraid; it’s okay for you to do something, but if someone else does it they’d better watch out. Trust me- it is not just adults.


Both my peers and other adults, even my parents, have to ask for somthing and end it with a threat……I will do what you ask, with or with out threats, but its just more friendly with out.

By just going along with this you are giving them the idea you are okay with the threats- and the longer you let it go on, the harder it will be to stop and say “look, if you want me to do something, just ask- but lay off the threats”


Is it just a phase in a teens life to contradict and lose respect in adults? I also wonder if other people are starting to do the same thing.

I don’t personally think it is specific to teens- see, back to the whole hypocritical thing; if a teenager is pissed off and losing respect for people, they are “hormonal” or “just going through puberty”- however if an adult is pissed off and loses respect for someone it’s a different story; “oh, they’ve had a bad day” or “that person was out of line”. They just like to classify it all under puberty- basically, when you hit 12 or 13, your mind is woken out of the childish state and you start to think for yourself rather than believing all the crap people feed you- the whole child thing; like Santa, being dependant on your parents, playing games at primary school- has gone and you are in the real world. If you looked at a lot of adults and forgot they were adults and brought them back down to 14ish- you would probably class them as “going through puberty” too. Basically, bringing everything in a teen’s life down to puberty is the same as bringing everything in a woman’s life down to menopause; very narrow minded and overlooking something that may be a serious issue.


Another thing I forgot to talk about is my expressing my individuality and just being myself. My parents want every aspect of my life in their way.

Parents often have a hard time letting go and understanding you are not a kid anymore- my dad still treats me like a 10 year old, even though I’m 19 (but I wont go into that). The best way of expressing yourself is to do just that, and stuff what anyone else thinks- I know its easier said than done, but just keep slowly gnawing away at their boundaries, so they get used to it little by little. As great as it would be to just say “fuck you, I’m my own person now” I don’t think that would be wise- you would probably just be classed as hormonal again rather than being taken seriously.


My mom is all about first impression. She says "What is someone going to think about you if they see you with that kind of clothes and that haircut?". I say if someone isnt going to bother to find out that im a great students that does a lot of art and has a good writing skills, so be it. Let them miss out on a great person to be friends with.

I honestly couldn’t have put it better myself- good for you. If people only like you based on appearance they aren’t worth worrying about


I think once you let someone tell you what to do, you lose all sense of individuality, which is one of the big parts of life. But I am trying to do as many things that they like that still gives me room to be my self.

The thing is, they need to know that just because you are yourself and don’t want to be controlled by them anymore, it doesn’t mean you are going to get into crime and drugs and everything. You do lose all sense of individuality when you let people tell you what to do; my friend has overly controlling parents, and he’s turned out not having a mind of his own- only existing to please other people, and it’s really sad, I think.

I hope things work out- its just a case of seeing it from your parents point of view, and also talking to them so they can see it from yours. That doesnt mean you should let them talk you round or give in to them- just that you understand each other- let them know you are doing it for yourself, not just to get up their nose. As for the whole gay thing, I can relate to some of it- im not gay myself, but I get really infuriated by people who judge others because of that- my family does it too.

Trust me though, its not just because you are a teenager- yeah that sparked it off, but it wont go away when you come through the other end of puberty; all that happens is you stopped being treated like an overly hormonal child. As far as the thing as a whole goes, I'm worse now i've come through puberty than i ever was at your age ^_^ so dont pass everything off as the fact you are a teen ok?

You know, my life has been going to craps. I lost my best friend because I was just telling her how she fits in more then I do, me bing asian and her being brittish, and well, my personality is what she just hates then. To hell with people who cant accsept me for me. Im usualy the person crawling back on my knees, but not this time. I was tring to forget about it, but she wouldnt let me. I lost me best friend today, and for some reason I dont hate myself. Am I a crule monster? Im not sure. Im not sad, but im crying. A turn around for me? Im a soft person, but look at me. Im not sad. I do have remorse for what happened though.

Life could get worse and I really hope it doesnt.

Radical_Dreamer i think as you can see we all have gone through stuff like you but what ever happens to you, you will alway look back on what happened in your younger years and see how much it made you the person that you are. NO you're not a cruel monster. it is normal to let friends go and not feel sad about it. i just want you to remember that you always have people that care about you and that they are here and there through out your life. well now that i have run out of thing to say i will say tah tah for now.^_^

And so I stand here and watch as you screw things up once again, RD.

You were NOT telling me how much I fitteted in. You were NOT at all. You were discriminating against my choices to follow the mainstream, I got cocky, you got annoying. I did and never have hated you're personality, and I never said that! YOU were the one who did such to ME! GOD DAMN IT WHY are you ALWAYS the flippin victim?!

Besides, my british herritage has nothing to do with it!

Don't ever express you're opinion of me inaccuratly, or publicly again. I made the respectfull choice not to do that to you. This is also another reason why I decided it was just best for me never to talk to you again, you exagerate and joke to much for you're own good.

~Kuma

P.S. You don't crawl back on you're knees, you realize that you crossed boundries I set up and you realize you needed to say sorry. I am not sorry for any of my mistakable rudeness and nor should you be. :cry:

P.S.S. Take Shaft's words into consideration. They're...very true.

You know what? I thank you for being there for me in the past 3 years of my life. I may have interprited what you said to me diffrently then you ment it to be, but then agian Kuma, did you now interprit what I said to you diffrently? Our friendship may not even exsist anymore, but I can only hope that we can be friends if nothing from the current time on.

~

Thorn, your exactly right. Moving on is a good thing. But it isnt that easy for me. Ive never been popular, or had this group of friends that is always there. My group of friends that I hang out with is of 4 people currently. A lot? I must say so seeing how they have been there for me, and they are my closest friends ive ever had.

NOTE: Someone please, PLEASE close this thread. My problems dont lie here, and it sould go to PM or MSN now.

I'm too damn stubborn to answer that. And I'm to damn stubborn to give in. What you really mean then huh? cause I'm pretty sure the message was looooud and clear.

I believe adults always treat teenagers much differently, as they have the presumptive knowledge that the teenager is lower on many terms than they are. And most times, it's true. Just like you treat a 6-7 year old must differently than you treat a friend. I think adults can be a bit more controlling at times in relation to teenagers, but you need to just get over that. Let people think they are right.


No offence but teenagers are stupid. I was there once, but now being 18 your mind matures more and allows you to see more of the adult point of view.

It certainly doesn't seem you've reached this adult point of view, as you are stupid enough to call the majority of the members on this board stupid. Nice going. Teenagers aren't stupid. Everyone is different. Stop steretyping, please. I have plenty of teenager friends on my AIM list who can do far more in programming than I can, and I'm in college majoring in CIS! I know people, mere teenagers, who can write seemingly infinite more kanji than I can. Being a teenger has absolute nothing to do with ones intelligence. You would be naive to think that age determines intelligence. Grow up, please.


Kids just seem to get younger and younger, and seeing them do the things you once did just doesn't feel right. You just want to jump and yell at them "What the hell are you doing?!" but then you remember you were there and you did the same thing.

True, but it works both ways. I'm sure adults do things that teenagers know not to do, or have done once and learned their lesson from it. Don't think that they never see you do something they once did and have their own urges to jump and yell at you, and perhaps then 'remember they were there and did the same thing'. They can learn from your mistakes just as you can learn from theirs.


Don't push your parents aside, they only want what is best for you.

Good intentions don't mean good outcomes. Just because they mean well doesn't mean they know what's best for you, or will do what's best for you.


I mean I've been having lots of problems with my Fiance' these past days and I tell you, your parents can be some of the best to talk to.

So can your friends. So can your professors, your teachers, you boss at work, even your classmates.

we teenagers are inexperienced but we arent stupid.

we teenagers are inexperienced but we arent stupid.


Finally someone puts it in words.
<_<

I believe that there are good parents, and bad parents. But the child or teenager of that parent may not be totally accurate on that decision. I think a good parent watches after there child, allowing and not allowing things, puts their foot down at times, and makes sure their child is safe no matter what. A bad parent in my consideration, is a parent who harms, or puts his or her own needs in front of the child. A bad parent is someone who lets their kids get tangled up in things they shouldn't be. A bad parent disowns or shuns their child. And a bad parent doesn't help teach the ways of life, doesn't help a teenager know how to live on their own come a few years. We teens need responsibilities and freedoms, that come with consiquinces and rewards, to learn and understand how the world works. -_-

we teenagers are inexperienced but we arent stupid.

You say that now, just to defend how you feel inside right now. Technically I'm still a teenager, but when I look back on what my thoughts were about adults and their ideas when I was still a young teenager, I'd say thatI was just thinking very selfishly. I just wanted what I wanted, never really gave thought what my parernts were thinking.

But I would also have to agree with kumagoro_beam, there are good and bad parents, And inorder to really learn you need to experiance. But somethings that we try to experiance we've seen other people do it and saw what they went through, and yet we still do it thinking that the out come will be different. (in bad scenarios isn' that stupidity?)

Everyone has their own view. Respecting your parents may be trying to do what they ask for. Understand them and get them to understand you. The time that is most likely to happen is when you could move out almost anytime.

Follow common sense and prove to yourself that you are doing the right thing by either disagreeing with a parent or by helping them out around the house. Stuff like that is respect, I believe.

You say that now, just to defend how you feel inside right now. Technically I'm still a teenager, but when I look back on what my thoughts were about adults and their ideas when I was still a young teenager, I'd say thatI was just thinking very selfishly. I just wanted what I wanted, never really gave thought what my parernts were thinking.

But I would also have to agree with kumagoro_beam, there are good and bad parents, And inorder to really learn you need to experiance. But somethings that we try to experiance we've seen other people do it and saw what they went through, and yet we still do it thinking that the out come will be different. (in bad scenarios isn' that stupidity?)

Defend how he feels inside? No shit. Of course he does! Why wouldn't he? You are making an absurd claim that is completely untrue!!! If someone made a claim that you had sex with 3 different people, wouldn't you want to defend yourself against this claim?

Looking back at your thoughts in regards to something of the past with the knowledge that it was not the brightest thing to do doesn't support your inane claim that teenagers are stupid. You don't think adults look back at some of the ideas they had in the past as an adult, and acknowledge the stupidity of it? You don't think adults don't sometimes think very selfishly wanting what they want and not thinking about others?

I think we become wiser as we grow older, and that the more we life out our life, the more knowledge and wisdom we gain. But I don't think that just because adults are in general more knowledgeable about things than teenagers, that teenagers are stupid. Just because teenagers have much to learn doesn't mean adults don't have much to learn. By your theory, adults are stupid too, because we have old people to make them stupid. If you are going to claim that teenagers are stupid, for such reasons, then you have to conceed by your own logic that adults are stupid.

There is a difference between making a stupid mistake and being stupid. The difference is, everyone makes mistakes, and some rather stupid. If making a stupid mistake makes a person stupid, than shouldn't making an intelligent decision make a person intelligent?

Sukate, everyone makes bad mistakes, and everyone has room to improve. Not just teenagers, but adults, children, even old people. People aren't stupid because they are young or make more mistakes when they are young. So stop fucking stereotyping people, as it's pissing me off and bothering other members on this forum. You don't have any good rational or support for your claim, so I suggest you either retract it, or provide something of substance to support your claim that teenagers are stupid.

Wow, this is all very nicely emo 'n' angsty and all, but shouldn't you stop worrying about what others perceiver you to be and just be yourself and be happy with being yourself? I'm probably way off mark, have no idea what I'm talking about, but you said it yourself. You're only 13. Dude, I'm completely different from when I was 13. People change. That's right, change. Yeesh, life is unfair, get used to it. Sometimes, you gotta think, "Is it really so bad?" There are good points in life too. Don't stress, you've only lived a measly 13 years. Hell, I'veonly lived a measly 17 years and still, most questions are still unanswered. If all else fails, the answer to your troubles is:

42.

BTW, this post was for RD.

Thorn, your exactly right. Moving on is a good thing. But it isnt that easy for me. Ive never been popular, or had this group of friends that is always there. My group of friends that I hang out with is of 4 people currently. A lot? I must say so seeing how they have been there for me, and they are my closest friends ive ever had.


Moving on isnt easy for anyone. It doesnt matter on your stats of popularity, or how many friends you have. Be happy that you have very close friends instead of many friends who are only aquainted with you. They can't always be there for you. Unlike me you have more than one close friend.