yeah im really new at composing (this is my first piece: done on finale notepad 2006 free version)so some critique woud be nice prefrably from al and deathraider
no reason for title except im a huge evangelion fan and that is ayanami's codename...
im working on the second child. its kind of influenced by one of deathraiders songs its called "dark love" or something anyway i hpe you enjoy!

That was pretty good for your first time, a quick comment though...

The piece was what many people would call random, meaning it lacks a structure or pattern, such as ABA. This means that there is a main melody or theme, then the song moves to a different theme, and then a variation of the first theme is played. In your piece, sure all the notes sounded great together and the rhythm of the song kept a catchy pace, but it lacked a logical pattern that someone else could relate to. But there does seem to be a development of structure toward the end of the piece but it still wasn't quite there.

Nice job though, it was more creative then I would have done on my first try! Keep at it and you'll get there!

(By the way, I too seem to becoming a big Evangelion fan)

thnx for commenting here's a version with a (kind of) ABA format
new ending a kind of variation of A
tell me if you think it is better and if anything else needs to be changed

That was a little better. Keep cracking at it and you'll get it down. One more thing I would like to point out.

The way your melody is written seems a little plain. Not to sound rude or anything but just strumming eighth notes together and sixteenth notes together just doesn't seems to bring any passion/emotion to the song. It does sound nice but it just seems to be missing expression. You should try doing some off beat stuff like triplets, dotted eight sixteenth notes, or even dotted quarter notes with either an eighth note or two sixteenth notes following. But don't use them constantly, just a little here and there will go a long way. Don't be afraid to put rests and whole notes in a song. Also, while you are writing the phrase, be careful of writing random stuff. The listener should be able to predict what note should come next if the music were to just suddenly stop.

What you did in this piece was a great start. There is definitely potential in your work. Keep cracking at it!

thnx
im'm working on my next piece
you can probably expect it friday or saturday
i have a lot of tests so composing will be a stressbreaker

You need to work on the harmony part - where you use inversions of the chord. It's not wrong, it just could be better with more stronger bass as you are using scalesque melodies. In my opinion, it could use some big fat chords - I like fat chords ._.;;

The melody isn't bad. It's quite simple but it's kinda boring sometimes. But Porsche said it already - variate.... take risk.

ok my next song is done comments please
i think its better than the last one

i have some time from now on
and i can do some transcriptions
midis only
i have midinodate
ill try to do accurate transcriptions of the pieces

Too bad you only post mus. files because I´d like to hear them too.
you can always ask someone to convert pieces to midi...

Meh, too many awkward notes - G, and F# collide together somewhere, that's a no no >.<

But you're getting better, I can see. Keep working on it!

can midinodate convert .mus to midi?
and besides, if you have a finale product, u shoud be able to hear them
oh, im starting my next piece. im going to try a jazz piece ill see how well i do:)

Lets see here...

Much better, I can definitely tell that you have improved since your last composition. There were a few spots in this composition though that still could use a little improvement. Measure 7-9 was random in that fact that the rhythm did not seem logical. It was really great until that measure popped up and then I was like "Whoa, what just happened, you lost me?" The next part that seemed just as random was the fourth beat of measure 13 to the end of measure 16. That too did not seem to logically fit with your piece. The final spot that seemed random was measure 21. I would suggest you redo just the treble cleft in those spots and you should have a pretty nice piece. I guess that leaves me one last thing. In your melody, try not to use runs of the same note value like the eighth notes but the sixteenth note runs are ok, just don't over use them.

Other than that I can definitely tell you have significantly improved since your last piece! Great Job, keep up the good work and keep cracking at it.

(P.S. I will be gone till Tuesday because my band is marching in the Fiesta Flambeau parade in San Antonio Texas, so I will not be able to comment on your pieces for a while. Just keep working!)

Lets see here...

Much better, I can definitely tell that you have improved since your last composition. There were a few spots in this composition though that still could use a little improvement. Measure 7-9 was random in that fact that the rhythm did not seem logical. It was really great until that measure popped up and then I was like "Whoa, what just happened, you lost me?" The next part that seemed just as random was the fourth beat of measure 13 to the end of measure 16. That too did not seem to logically fit with your piece. The final spot that seemed random was measure 21. I would suggest you redo just the treble cleft in those spots and you should have a pretty nice piece. I guess that leaves me one last thing. In your melody, try not to use runs of the same note value like the eighth notes but the sixteenth note runs are ok, just don't over use them.

Other than that I can definitely tell you have significantly improved since your last piece! Great Job, keep up the good work and keep cracking at it.

(P.S. I will be gone till Tuesday because my band is marching in the Fiesta Flambeau parade in San Antonio Texas, so I will not be able to comment on your pieces for a while. Just keep working!)


first-you were right about measures 7-9 i fixed so it sounds more logical
second-i disagree about 13-16 they are a condensed version of the first part of the piece and also transitions to the next part
third-i agree about measure 21
thnx for the comments
here updated version

Much better! Keep up the good work!^_^

If you ever need files converted to MIDI format, just PM me and tell me what needs done.

to porche-ill take you up on your offer
to everyone-i am going on a retreat this weekend
i probably wont finish my next piece until wednesday
if you guys want me to do a specific type of music, ask me
ill be happy to try
in other words, ill take requests

Battle music FTW!

Battle music FTW!

what exactly is battle music?
just something bombastic and dramatic?

Yup. Something with dramatic yet repetitive chords, and a catchy rhythmic melody. Listen to some FF music and try to create something like that =)

ill try it sounds fun:)

Also try,

The Legend of Zelda.

Koji Konjo PWNS!

Also try,

The Legend of Zelda.

Koji Konjo PWNS!

yeah im a huge zelda fan so ill try it

i will not be posting from tommorow evening to sunday afternoon(probably)
i will be on a retreat with my church's youth group
i will bring some sheet music and see if i can bring my keyboard to try to compose there
i might get new inspiration

EDIT:crap totally misinterpreted you
you meant for inspiration listen to zelda stuff
sorry

can midinodate convert .mus to midi?
and besides, if you have a finale product, u shoud be able to hear them
oh, im starting my next piece. im going to try a jazz piece ill see how well i do:)
you have many akward notes, but really good at trying. I have printed your piece out and played it, it sounds really good, but just fix up on your harmony and add in fierce and sad parts. In conclusion, what level pianist are you? Im accomplished in RCM

Also try,

The Legend of Zelda.

Koji Konjo PWNS!
that song is great! But too many repetitive notes. If you have a piano like me, try adding the echo, push the damper pedal and try it on every triplet

Jordan-thnx for your comments
Maestro-you want a transcription or a original piece based on LOZ?
a transcription of the theme is on pianosquall.com
really good transcription
but an original piece i will do
i cannot post saturday
maybe friday
sunday evening only
thnx!

all right im back
im working on the battle piece right now
fun!
im not working on the jazz piece yet
ill let you know when done

done with the battle child
*ooohhhh*
lol
reaaaaly fun to compose
if you can, try a piece like this
with my grand, a kawaii (that's the brand name(yes its japanese)by the way)
it was really fun to pound out the notes
well, here it is!
enjoy
oh, and if anyone can make this into a midi, i would appreciate it

what about this?

PFK, you just killed the piece. o_o;;

Not bad. The chords are okay but the melody is boring.

And it's a battle theme, it should feel like a battle -- not two warriors ballet dancing. =S

I think Battle Themes should be fasted so I just put a 2 in front of the original speed XD
I might excaggerated it slightly, but I really think it should be faster than 75

EDIT:

About the second Child, Try fixing those repeating 16ths (I mean like two times a C in a row for example). I just can't stand it x_x

pfk-fast was funny, but kind of ruined it
and no repeating 16ths in second child, just checked
if you mean repeating 8ths, those were there on purpose

sepharite-what do you mean "ballet dancing"?
think of it as the lull before the final strike
a spellcaster casting heal
or a dancing attack lol

anyway, im satisfied with it, so no more edits
maybe another similar piece sometime
it was fun

working on the third child
going to try jazz
hope it works
ill check back soon

I liked this one the best out of all the ones you have done so far. Though it did not seem to fit the battle theme you were going for, I can definitely see a dramatic improvement over your first composition. Keep them coming!

Maybe you should try to write a fanfare?

By the way here is the MIDI format you requested.

porche-thank u so much! i would greatly appreciate it if you could make the others midis too(if its not too much trouble)
to all-still can't find inspiration for jazz piece
here is the third child
it took me an hour but i really like it
only an hour i mean
lol
well, enjoy!
porche, a midi for this please (if possible(please(hope so)))

Here is your requested MIDI files...

I'll just post future files in this post from now on.

A few words on this one.

The dissonance on this song just did not seem necessary. I would suggest some change in that like at the beginning.

Also, maybe you should consider separating some of your notes onto the base cleft for a more full sound like a measure 4 and measures 15-20.

Nice job for an hours work.

* What dissonance?

They sound - OK. Kind of got a little mediorke, seemed like the "third child" was very "repeating" of it's "themes" there.

The other ones were so-so as well. (1st and 2nd child).

* What dissonance?

Like in measure 6-9.
C & D
B & A
G & F
E & D

It just didn't seem like it was needed in this song to me

Great pieces!:lol: :lol: :heh:

porche-thank you soo much! this will help
maestro-these are my first four works. i'm not really expecting masterpieces, but they are pretty good for my firsts
jordan-thank you!
im working on the next one
its a jazz piece (probably, if inspired)
im almost done school (homeschooled)
done the 8th
:bleh:
lol

EDIT:will change some of the dissonance in the third child
only the chords though

@Eva : Just because your new, doesn't mean I am going to hold back on my opinions. Have to learn that like we all did or will.

@Por : Yes, they are dissonants-just I don't always consider them to be dissonant. I consider, C - Eb - F# - A , to be a dissonant chords.

maetro, i wasnt trying to make it sound like u were harsh
i appreciate your honest comments
here's the updated third child
some dissonant chords changed

i still cant get inspiration for a jazz piece!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggghh hhhhhhhhhhhh!
anyway, started another piece
done on trial version of noteworthy composer
am seriously thinking of buying
if yu use noteworthy, please comment
is it worth it for me?
for me financially, it works perfectly
not willing to pay more than 50 dollars
lol
here's a preview of the fourth child
first eight measures
in midi! finally

@Por : Yes, they are dissonants-just I don't always consider them to be dissonant. I consider, C - Eb - F# - A , to be a dissonant chords.

Those are diminished chords. :lol: I can see how you got them confused though.

Anywho, not bad. It has potential. Keep working on it!

The Fourth Child's good, but it can be made a lot more interesting. Maybe add instruments or something. ;)

The Fourth Child's good, but it can be made a lot more interesting. Maybe add instruments or something. ;)

im trying to do piano solo pieces
here's the full midi of the fourth child
enjoy

Definitely one of your better pieces. I like how the piece was kept simple and upbeat. I think this comes in a close second to the battle child piece you wrote. Anyway, great job!

By the way, if you are trying out music notation software, you should take a look at Sibelius 4 demo. It has some pretty neat features like it can arrange music to different types of categories with a just a piano part. If you decide to check it out, read about the arrange tool.

i looked at sibelus
waaaaaaaaaay more than i need
i may get full version of finale for my birthday, so that would rock
glad you liked the piece took me like 15 minutes

EDIT:my birthday isn't until july.....DARN!

:lol: :lol: The fourth child is an excellent piece!
Your must be very good at compositions:lol: :lol:

good?me?
none of my stuff is that good
and i still cant get inspiration for a jazz piece!
AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHH!!!!!

Did you try the obvious, listening to jazz? >.>

Did you try the obvious, listening to jazz? >.>


:huh:
do you think im stupid OF COURSE i listened to jazz!
there's just a reeeeealy fine line between jazz and blues
or am i confusing myself...@_@
yeah, probably

Those are diminished chords. :lol: I can see how you got them confused though.

Anywho, not bad. It has potential. Keep working on it!

Bleh, I knew it. I always get Dissonants and Diminished chords mixed up. Used to Fur Elise's marks as dim. (for decresendo) so I don't use that lol.

:huh:
do you think im stupid OF COURSE i listened to jazz!
there's just a reeeeealy fine line between jazz and blues
or am i confusing myself...@_@
yeah, probably
why don't you try and listen to the beetles or miles davis. they have lots of jazz and it cant get out of your head:lol: :lol:

all right
ive been sick for the last couple of days
couldn't compose
but now im better
working on the next piece
i don't know what its going to be
i have the first two measures only done

new piece!
entitled storm
(not a jazz piece)
i think im not going to pursue a jazz piece
just, if an idea for one comes along, ill take it.
but otherwise...
here's the piece! enjoy!

That piece contained no creativity whatsoever =P Or was that a quick draft or something?

no creativity? it's that bad?

Yeah, its not one of your better pieces.

It was just chords and harmonic scales. Okay.

Yeah, i agree, it was kind of messy. it wasn't as good as the child pieces. no offence, its not that great. just like the guy said, just chords and scales. but still, look on the bright side, you can compose because you are a great pianist. tell me what level are you?

how do you tell level?

do you play from RCM

whats rcm?

Royal Conversvatory of Music? Ranging Level 1 - 10 + ARCT.

But judging from Eva's comment, I doubt he even plays piano seriously >.>

i've been playing for 9 years.
under a teacher.
that's seriously.


EDIT:and i can play clair de lune!
easily!
from memory!

That would be Grade 8-9 out of 10. Pretty awesome. Got any recordings?

unfortunantly, i have no recording devices whatsoever
i can't find a cheap midi recorder
cheap as in "good but less than 200 bucks thats portable"

i 've been playing for 4 years and is level 10 in RCM. Any of you better than me?

Royal Conversvatory of Music? Ranging Level 1 - 10 + ARCT.

But judging from Eva's comment, I doubt he even plays piano seriously >.>
you know about this? you must be very good at piano then! What level are you or do you play for fun. sorry for double posting!!!:heh:

Hehe, no... it's common sense >.>

I'm okay though.

I know this is kind of off topic but what would be my RCM if my hardest piece from memory is Thjose who fight (FF advent children) or One winged angel (FF7) Piano collections versions?

That would be grade 9-10ish...

what happened about eva's compositions

ive had no creative inspiration lately:\
stinks:bleh: :bleh: :bleh:

:lol: hey eva and Sepharite, add me to your buddies list!:lol:

Wow, this is all REALLY off topic.

Wow, this is all REALLY off topic.

lol
yeah, i just can't seem to compose lately...no inspiration...or it could be that i have a bad memory
how this relates:
i compose by just playing something on the piano, a random melody, a bass part...then when i get on a roll, i can't remember what i played!
many good ideas have been lost that way.
soooo..im saving for a midi keyboard!
it should help with my memory problems!

EDIT:im also taking a music theory course this year!:)
should help!

Yeah, I often hear a really good melody in my head, and then I don't have time to get on the computer and sequence it in, so I forget it. That always makes me really mad.

here is a preview of my next song.
its a vocal arrangement with no words^_^
i never can decide on words:P
i had a serious migrane earlier
that's the reason for the title^.^
anyway, enjoy:)
oh, any word and title ideas would be appreciated^_^

EDIT: forgot to attach the piece:heh:
here ya go!

I LOVED where you were going with measures 4 and 5, but besides that it's just okay.

here is a preview of my next song.
its a vocal arrangement with no words^_^
i never can decide on words:P
i had a serious migrane earlier
that's the reason for the title^.^
anyway, enjoy:)
oh, any word and title ideas would be appreciated^_^

EDIT: forgot to attach the piece:heh:
here ya go!
your piece is not that bad. keep up the good work

man its hard to do a fourpart harmony!
probably wont enter this in the contest not that good
plus i stink at lyrics:sweat:

Some of it seems a little chaotic and clashing, but as Deathraider pointed out you got measure 4 and 5 down pretty good! Continue and keep it going!

One suggestion I have though is to try and make your music simple though. Some of my older music was a little random and chaotic. I tried to make it sound cool by throwing in way too many weird rythyms and attempting to make big, complicated chords. After listening to some of Al's music, however, I realized that simplicity goes a long way. It makes your music more memorable and pleasent to listen to in general. Just try to be a little more patient and simple and find some inspiration!

Anyway, I think you should continue your piece for the contest. The best way to improve is through practice and a little trial and error anyway, so just keep working at it. :)

Some of it seems a little chaotic and clashing, but as Deathraider pointed out you got measure 4 and 5 down pretty good! Continue and keep it going!

One suggestion I have though is to try and make your music simple though. Some of my older music was a little random and chaotic. I tried to make it sound cool by throwing in way too many weird rythyms and attempting to make big, complicated chords. After listening to some of Al's music, however, I realized that simplicity goes a long way. It makes your music more memorable and pleasent to listen to in general. Just try to be a little more patient and simple and find some inspiration!

Anyway, I think you should continue your piece for the contest. The best way to improve is through practice and a little trial and error anyway, so just keep working at it. :)
cool:lol:

ive dropped the four part harmony
i couldnt get inspired
i composed a piece last night now i have to put it into finale notepad...x_x
im hopefully going to buy an audio recorder soon, so that should help

ive dropped the four part harmony
i couldnt get inspired
i composed a piece last night now i have to put it into finale notepad...x_x
im hopefully going to buy an audio recorder soon, so that should help
too hot to work............:ghost: :sleeping:

too hot to work............:ghost: :sleeping:

agreed. its about 90 where im at, in PA!
@_@ x_x :cracker: :torch: :eek: :sleeping: :!: :death: :bleed: :sick: :no: :angry: :wacko: :mad: :ranting: ...
:topic:
still trying to put my piece to stupid finale notepad. ARGH! I HATE FINALE NOTEPAD!!!

Yeah this weather is rediculous and my air conditioner is BROKEN!! NNNOOO!!!

Maybee you should try to find the full version of finale

"try to find"? that could mean a lot, porsche

Finding and downloading Finale '06 is much easier than people think. I know a handful links already, but illegal stuff isn't allowed here :shifty:

*Cough cough*

Love
Interstate
Myspace
Everyone

Wonder
Impossible
Rain
External

*Cough cough*

Excuse me I seem to have something stuck in my throat!:lol:

Best thing I've ever heard from you.

Nice chords.

agreed with maestro! nice piece and get inspired to compose more music

*Cough cough*

Love
Interstate
Myspace
Everyone

Wonder
Impossible
Rain
External

*Cough cough*

Excuse me I seem to have something stuck in my throat!:lol:
*Cough Cough*
no duh!!!

it screws with my comp.

ok still haven't uploaded my piece i was talking about, here's two:
first is a woodwind arrangement of "ode to joy", the second is an original piano piece
oh, title of second means nothing:)

Didn't like thr arrangement. But the Jig is nice.

cool...

Sweetness, I'm back...:lol:

Any ways I'll have to agree with Maestro~. The arrangement of Ode to Joy was flawed. You used the oboe with a counter melody instead of the main melody. The oboe is a very distinct instrument and unless you know what your doing real well, you should stick it with the main melody. You should have also backed up the oboe with a clarinet which I saw you didn't have any clarinets. You also might have want to have the piccolo part play what the flute part is playing, buy up an octave. There are also a few problems with the present counter melody. It just doesn't fit well with the melody. The only time it does seem to fit is at the end of the phrase. I suggest starting over with your counter melodies and fix the other things I have mentioned.

Your Piano song though was pretty good so keep it up!^_^

You used the oboe with a counter melody instead of the main melody. The oboe is a very distinct instrument and unless you know what your doing real well, you should stick it with the main melody. You should have also backed up the oboe with a clarinet which I saw you didn't have any clarinets.

Not to mention the oboe was at a range beyond playability on certain oboes and the oboist would surely hate to play in such a low register (as an oboist, I wouldn't like to play in such a low register throughout the piece). :\

That self portrait piece was the best piece i heard from your bunch or pieces. Your a good composer but there is a lot of room for improvemnt (especially in the harmonies). Here r a few tips: Never put none chordal tones in the strongbeat of a measure, The only contrary motion that is good is 3rds and 6ths (unless u can make it work). Also when writing in counterpoint never leap twice in the same direction, and it is a good idea if after u leap u do a 2nd in the opposite direction.

let me say something to clarify why ode to joy wasn't that good:
I ONLY PLAY PIANO!

Then don't write for a woodwind quartet. Or do as most of us, don't make excuses :think:

but woodwinds are cool:)

Yes. They can be, but I truly like them in orchestras when there's like 2 of each woodwind.. well, for most pieces involving an orchestra.

But I think the Brass in the orchestra is AMAZING. Unlike high school, or 'school' bands where there's like 18 trumpets, 2 of them in a professional orchestra could blow them out of the house. I wish we had trumpets like that in our school-be easier to compose for knowning that this part will own. ^_^

But I think the Brass in the orchestra is AMAZING. Unlike high school, or 'school' bands where there's like 18 trumpets, 2 of them in a professional orchestra could blow them out of the house. I wish we had trumpets like that in our school-be easier to compose for knowning that this part will own. ^_^

Agreed, brass is awsome.
My school has 30 trumpets though.:lol:

here's the problem: id like to do brass, but i can't figure their weird keys in finale:cry:

here's the problem: id like to do brass, but i can't figure their weird keys in finale:cry:

What do you mean weird keys?
Trumpet = Bb
Trumbone = C
Tuba = C
F. Horn = F

i mean with finale. when you input them, the sound is not transposed immedietally. only during playback is it transposed

Edit: thanks for the keys, btw:)

Oh I see. Yeah, Finale does get messed up like that.

Do you know that you can enter the Concert Pitches for instruments and Finale will put it in the right key for you? It's Options > Display in Concert Pitch. This way you can put down what ever you wrote on the piano and it will enter it in the correct key after you turn the function off.

really?!

THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH!!!!!!

I had to transpose my Ship Voyage piece by 'hand.' I didn't have some fancy finale do all the transposing for me. I DID WORK x_x .

Technology is there to make you look better then you really are! :lol:

And it saves time doing tedious tasks.

Though, I got more expierence that this gives you. A LOT MOE EXPEIERENCE. :P

im still trying to input a piece from a month ago into finale notepad.....
EDIT:here it is.....its really badx_x

Yes, very random. It's more like a jotting of ideas for a new piece.

yeh.....
i might get a better finale soon.....
that might help......

Myabe not random, but more rhapsodic actually. Just, the chords and some patterns is the revisions, and you have a good prelude.

I think he could have done more with the first two measures and 22&23.

Yes, very random. It's more like a jotting of ideas for a new piece.


I second that. ;) Organize 'em a bit, and you might get a nice song! ^.^

all right, here's a new composition.
comments.
BTW, this is not the original.
Finale sucks. I couldn't put it in just right. so if i get demand, ill make a recording of it
EDIT:whoops forgot the attachment

Sorry, the piece is quite boring as it has little harmonic textures to it (the G drone kind of hurt my ears after a while), and the notation is kind of messy such as in the beginning, when you have all those high notes, you should use 8vas lines. The melody wasn't interesting either, there were barely anything that catches the audience's attention. The ending chord also sounded funky, sometime was wrong there. Finally, is the glissando really necessary? Good luck. ;)

I agree with everything Dot said. I dont think I'd want to hear anything in G minor for a while. ._.

I'm kidding, it's not that bad. =)

It sounded like it wasn't ment for the Piano. More like it was ment to be played with a Concert Band.

If I were to arrange this for a concert band or just to fix it up for piano, I would not have that climb of eigth notes at the begining. So scrap measures 1-4. Measures 5-12 are nice, but only as a counter point, some other melody needs to be added over top of that. Measures 13-26, sounds nice but it need a better counter point. Measures 27 and 28 I could see the low brass playing the bass clef and the woodwinds playing the treble. Measures 29-36 would be the same as 5-12 and you would need a more interesting ending, minus the glissando :lol:.

"No."

The piece really went no where, I only liked the rest, then three chord sections.

Everything else didn't seem to fun-that repeating G octave got annoying-try making it a melody itself like Chopin did.