I've been working on this midi-file and I just can't seem to correct what's wrong with it; the transitions are shakey and the melody seems too repetive, can someone help me?


(yeah.... I know, it's sad; but hey for my first composition, and considering I don't know a thing about the Piano, it's not that bad.)

:heh: guess I'm back from my break . . .

~~

Mies, I hope you're good with constructive criticism, because I don't want to offend you with my comments. :mellow:

You have the right "idea" for an intro with the lead-in, but how about a pause or a slowing-down before you really get into the song?
Your song has no direction and form, sorry. It just seems a bit random to me, as if you got an idea, wrote it down, and then you got a different idea and you wrote that down as well. But they don't connect, fit, or flow. I can't feel any emotion, probably due to the lack of dynamics and lack of a climax.
Some people here may agree with me that you don't have a good memorable melody. It seems to be all over the place. Same with your accompaniment, which seems to be mostly power chords. Try varying the chords, eg. don't constantly use root position, break it down (arpeggios), etc.
I'm not too fond of your harmonies, but that's my personal preference. But I really don't like the odd dissonant chords you've used every now and then. Would that be the "evil" concept you tried to incorproate? Speaking of which, I didn't understand in what ways you were trying to achieve your title's goal.
Some parts of your song aren't bad; I wish I could show you exactly which ones, but I can't. Oh, you gave us a false ending. I didn't especially like that. You know what I'm talking about? You had a lot of fast notes, and then you stopped on a chord. I thought that was it, but then you continued on with a slow section. As for your real ending, it was okay. I didn't know when to expect it, but at least when it did come, you took the time to finish it off properly with those flourishes.

You seem to be concerned with putting down all your ideas at once. Don't be. Just let the music come out. Give the music its own time to say what it wants to say. Let it be heard!

it was in early planning, so that explains why the items were out of whack and lacked transitions (I was lazy that day and decided to not to add them).

Thanks for the help, none-the-less. :)


Here's a transcription of every heart from inuyasha (basically the same as the Ichigos version only without tempo gliches)

very nice song! but there are some parts i agree with alphonse. There are some chords there that may sound perfect if you take out one of the clashing notes... though i do not know which note is it... :blink:
there are some parts that DO try to tell a story, it's like the storyteller is kinda veering off-course of the story... revision is a good idea... but yeah, get some other feel other than power chords. dominant sevenths, ninths, etc. the ending seems to be awesome and so is the intro! the song is called 'Battle of Good and Evil'. try and tell us the story. Like a story, it has an intro going to the climax and coming down to a conclusion; so should your music. this is an offhand thing you can do is that write a short summary of the song in a story form... explain to us what you had in mind when writing this piece. well, bottom line: Great start and finish, try and increase the climax.

Rating: 7.5/10

Worked a little out.. Moved some thing-a-ma-bobers around and came up with this. Maybe it is a little better.

As for the story:

"A land is plagued and in turmoil and an evil god provokes it (hence the strained cords at the begining, and the arpezios (sp?)). The people looked for someone to help them and found a god (Key change). This god was of light and was vallent (hence the lack of strained cords). The two gods tried to settle their differences by their deeds done (point of where the bass becomes arpezios (sp?)), which eventually leads to a battle (tempo increase). The battle come to an end and both gods die (power cord on bass). The people whom once prayed to the god, realized that all was in vain (slow down), and that nothing had changed. A deep sorrow then sets in. Then someone stands on a rock and preaches that they didn't need gods to go on (first theme but different key) and inspires the people and the sadness leaves them."

Then a general re-cap of the battle and a stress cord at the end.

That might help explain what direction I wanted this epic to go.

::edit:: opps!!! Wrong file... There now the right file is attached

NOW this is better! everything really flows much better than your first one. There are about two clashes of sounds, but that should be fine. I felt the climax and the descention to the conclusion. you've used more than just power chords now... awesome job!
and the story helps alot. It lets me understand how and why you play it in this way and lets my imagination visualize the battle going on. Keep it up!

New Rating: 8.8/10

Thank you. Maybe I will continue trying to compose music, after all.

Yes, this is much better! The music for your battle is the best part.

In light of new information, I decided to post a battle theme... Not in the best condition, but for 2 days, it's pretty good.