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Progression: -Too much direct unisons, not good if it were to be performed
-Weird harmonization, passing notes and etc... here and there
-Themes to disconnected
-Progressions too simple, especially with themes that are already too simple.
-The accompaniment is too plain and dull

Rising: -weird fermata ending the first phrase
-too 'chordy'
-you did not indicate 'sempre staccato' in your beginning phrase to state that all the notes are staccato


Edge: -lacking in depth and harmonic structure, although the violin duet was acceptable in its case
-use staccato instead of making it sixteenth notes and all confusing for the violinists
-dull duet (always quarter note against eighth and sixteenth or in the same rhythm)

Well, that's Dot's criticisms for you. Good luck. ;)