Well, I've been writing this Manga, "Samurai East" over on fictionpress.com. I've already written a bunch of songs for it, and now I have a not-finished composition of the opening song, Anata no Omoi wo Akete ^_^ . I hope you like it! Just to let you know, it's only a TV version and THAT'S not even finished...opinions are welcome, while pointless flames (i.e. boo! you suck! or boo! this is the suckiest thing I ever saw! etc. etc.) will be used to toast marshmellows that I shall share willingly with the nicer members of the forum.

Oh, yah....ish a newbie! ::waves::

I don't like this. Maybe its just the Trumpet thats bothering me, and near the end there was a little too much.

Sorry but I had trouble getting half way through listening to this song.

Hm, I thought the trumpet sounded rather weird --;; there are still some things I wanna change, and like I mentioned before, it's not completely done. Ah, well...I shall change the drums...maybe I should like...just leave the piano from the beginning and change the drum around.

I don't play the drums, so maybe that's part of the reason why it sounds...not great. I KNEW I shoulda taken drum...oh yah...piano and violin are my only instruments, too...*runs off to fix composition*

PS,
is it the melody you don't like or the instruments?

You could possibly replace the Trumpet with the Piano.

Btw, the melody of this song seemed a little off.
-_-

I tried that. Domo arigato! It sounds better with piano. As for melody, I guess the beginning might be a little off. I probably won't finish it tonight, but for now, here's the piano-ized version and I put a piano dynamic on the drums...

Gah. I wish I took the drum sometimes instead of violin...

I don't know WHAT that is in the backround at the start, but its very disturbing. Its interfering completly with the Piano.

But its better then the First one.
-_-

Oh-h. I see what it is now, it's the HARP. The harp has cursed my composition! Well, at least the harp in the beginning...unless you're talking about throughout the WHOLE song. ^_^

um.... You have a good idea, but is seems a little confused. I'm having some trouble finding the main melody. The end is too much.

Boy, I'm full of complaints, but I will say that the blending seems right with the piano than the trumpet. I'd build on the piano in the middle of the song.

mhmm.. again.. something's not quite right x.x;

Okay, I'm going to give an honest opinion here and I'm not trying to offend you but there are some things seriously wrong with this composition. I guess my biggest complaint is that there isn't any beat. I'm not sure how you did it but there just isn't anything that resembles a pulse behind the music. I couldn't even really figure out the time signature.

The next thing is I don't see any reason for you to have added the dissonance at the beggining. It sounds like you have a lot of major seconds being played in there but there isn't any resolution or even a third note to turn it inot a suspended chord.

I have nothing agaoinst the instrumentation but there isn't any pretense for changing the style halfway through the piece. If you were building up to it I could understand it but you aren't.

Which brings me to my last point, this piece doesn't go anywhere, it just wanders. I'm not sure that there is a chord structure there but even if there is, it doesn't help anything. The melody also feels like you're just randomly hunting and pecking for notes.

One thing I'd suggest is ignore this piece for now and then go work on another one. Just choose one scale minor or major maybe hamonic minor and one key and just work with that. Try and make 4 or 8 bar phrases and limit yourself to using only whole notes, half notes, quarter notes and eight notes in your piece. Definitely do it in 4/4 time and maybe start with just a piano so you can work out a simple bass line with the melody and have it sound clean still. If you just work like this and gradually add to the complexity of your piece you'll improve quite quickly. You just need to work on the basics for a while before you go for the complex stuff.

I don't like the way the harp sounds in this composition. The intro was okay though, but the trumpet seemed a bit off. Since this is an Opening Theme, you should try to add more flavour to it..you know, so that people don't want to jump over the opening and just see the anime ^_^

That's cute song. Nice, easy going, like a hot japanese school girl....a bit saucy too...:P

Okay hm...problems:
1. Time signature: It's very hard to tell your time signature...okay that's the least thing to worry about. Stick to 1 phrase, roughly around 8 bars, and expand your pieces according to that piece, maybe move it up to like a major 5th, or make it minor, or change to the relative keys. don't wonder around. Also divide your pieces into sections. Where you might have A(main theme) then B(another theme) then goes back to A(main theme) and ends in a cadence. V-I or IV-I.

2. Try to not add the drums in, your piano and that harp i think was really messy already, and adding the drum just made it worse

3. From the sound of it, the rhythm is very messed up. But i think i know what you are trying to do, the idea is there but it just need a bit of reformatting. Speed is also kinda awakward. Sometimes it speeds up sometimes it slows down. Maintain the same speed throughout.

OVERALL: um...i don't think this piece is done in a long shot. Melody, Rhythm, Speed, and Togetherness

Suggestion: Listen to more of the kind of pieces you want to compose, and listen carefully to their melody, togertherness and harmony. Hope i helped... :/

smart.. A_A;

I really don't know what to say about this song. There is some things wrong with it, but most of them I can't figure out. I don't know if you should use that to your advantage or not, but anyway.... What I do know is that the trumpet is heavily out of place, and that the song seems to have no structure. it souns like it should have structure, buit i can never seem to find it; it's like the time signature is on vacation or something. I do however, like the melody. Despite it's lack of structure, it was actually "hummable" to a certain degree. I did have to alter it to giveit structure, mind you, but it still had a catchy melody.

VERDICT

+ ~ Catchy Melody
+ ~ Unique Blending of Unlike Instruments
- ~ Lacks Structure

OVERALL GRADE ~ 3/5 Average

k, the feel is sort of there. too much clash. needs work. the drum beat is really messed.... i'm sorry to say. the first half (triplet...triplet.... then aslfmaow.....) the triplet is awesome..... but then the messy ending of the pattern needs to be revised. also, the song, it made me think of a car being driven by a newbie. hit the gas then brake suddenly. the car just chuggs from going and stopping. ending is kinda abrupt... definetily take out the harp.... or find a way that both piano and the harp can flow smoothly.... like a conversation maybe.... i agree that the beginning is good... but it fell apart...... the positive side is that you have a great start! it's very hard to how you enter a song, now you got it.... all you have to do is continue the song..... think of it like this.... i've told others before, but try and think of a story for you song, a song has a beginning, middle, and end. you need the intro, the climax, and the conclusion. that is one way that may help you.

Rate- 5/10

it is your choice to continue to revise this piece, but if you are tired of it and want to start on a new one, then i'm hoping to hear it when you have completed it!