hi all..im new here and have composed my first piano song...its not perfect so i have to fix some notes but i hope u will enjoy it

I'm no expert in music or anything, so I can't really give constructive criticism.

Other than that, I really like it. It's pretty. :)

Wow, it's long...

Theme and variation eh? It's actually quite neat stylistically throughout. I really like that habanera part and the nocturne part. But my problem with this piece is that the chord progression was too cliche and your melody isn't much too special either. Some of the parts are rather dull too.

Some of the parts are rather dull too.

I thought the bass was a little repetitive and dull at some parts...

Every time I hear bass parts being repeated like that, I get the feeling that one is just using the chord progression to improvise -_- . Repeating over and over and over again. At least you changed it at 81. At the Presto Assai part, I suggest making a 3rd counterpoint. It's basically only eighth notes and quarter notes at that part. Considering it's your first composition, it's pretty well done.

One thing though: Longer is not always better!

As the previous two comments noted, the bass part is repetitive...

Longer is not always better!

I would say that as well; you had around ten variations - most theme and variations pieces that I've heard have about half of that. While most of them were very well written, parts just seemd to drag on. The only one that I didn't care for were the Lento (and the similar parts following), it seemed rather uninteresting. The other comment I'd make is that at the Andantino, the right hand triplets that rearticulate the same note got kind of annoying - you could maybe change some into quarter notes or quarter note triplets, where applicable.

However, for a first composition, that was fantastic. I really liked your theme, and the variations really held true to it while adding different feelings to each one. Overall, great job! :lol:

Dull chord progressions! You could've used it for like... one variation, but no more.

ok thank you all for ur critics...i know that i have to fix some parts (but i said it in the beginning)...the context is another...1. yes it should a theme and many variations, 2. this song is for the backgroundmusic for our school theater, so it shouldnt be a single song 3. @ clarinetist: i think so too that longer is not better, but this piece will be subdivided in different parts for the theater
i will fix all the probs (i discussed some parts with my piano teacher today) and will upload the fixed parts (not as the whole piece again)...but thank u a lot, i saw some of these problems u mentioned. perhaps it was a bit stupid to upload a "bugged" version

I must say that I from the beginning was suspecting it would be some kind of background music. I'm not an expert in music, no, but I know alot about feelings in song an such and the change in the feelings I got were... well... overhelming (is that the word I was searching in my small head that is very poor in English) and it was therefore pretty easy to guess... Many parts were, for me, very dull though, so I hope the play won't make people fall asleep as I almost did... (But that might be because I'm suffering from a massive lack of sleep...)

so....i fixed and changed some parts. the bass is a bit changed (octaves are necessary for the ground) but there are a few movements now...its still one piece but its a bit shorter because i deleted the largo part...hope u like the new version

Hmm, it was interesting for the first few minutes, but after a while the progression really started to drone. I guess you are going for this passacagalia approach, with varying figures above the same chord progression, but that doesn mean you can't interpolate chords in between here and there for some extra zing to the piece. Also, while you vary the right hand figures quite a bit, the left hand pretty much always serve as accompiment with block and arpeggiated chords. There's always a distinct seperation between them, which adds to the static feel. Some more counterpoint between the hands would be really nice. And be less conservative about your range - get out onto the ledger lines some more, for both hands! My 2+cents.

It's that alla marcia part that is annoying to my ears x_x . Staccatoed same note rhythms with the same chord progression, and sort of predictable...

ok thx @ shizeet for the tip...but i dont think that i will make such a long piece again...sometimes my own song goes on my nerves... but not because it sounds bad, its the changing in rhythm and sound...@ clarinetist: i like the marcia part but u shouldn't forget that you can't do so much with a piano...i think this part would sound great with an orchestra and a few more counterpoints

@ clarinetist: i like the marcia part but u shouldn't forget that you can't do so much with a piano...i think this part would sound great with an orchestra and a few more counterpoints

I'm not saying that there's not enough counterpoints :\ . It's just the bass part.

I'm not saying that there's not enough counterpoints :\ . It's just the bass part.

oh sorry then i misunderstood your critics...but i need a bass which sounds like marching so i need this rhythm...and the octaves are for the better ground.

It is quite interesting, looking at the amount of variations, it is incredible. The amount of style and colour in it. :) It is like a man going on a journey to many different places. Gypsy? And for the bass part, i'm not against it, i mean what is wrong with that, as long as it harmonises, has a rhythm to it and sounds right. Good Job. I will play this piece for busking someday lol :p just joking....

thank you Rovski. But the background of this song is easy...i only don't know what my teacher wants to listen to and he only said "yes, make a bit music." so i made a song with many variations so he can decide which part to take:lol: :heh:

Shizeet is the one who said you needed more counterpoint.

For one, in measure 8, I wouldn't move the bass up to the g# because for one, you're making it sound like you're moving from a dominant to a vii diminished chord, which can still function as a dominant but is not as strong as a full on dominant chord, and secondly, it makes it so you are doubling the leading tone, and that sounds weird. Instead, I would make an octave jump down.

Also, when you have secondary dominants or leading tone chords, such as in measure 12 with the c#, you want to use all the chord tones. in this case, I would move the bass down to an a to make that chord sound much stronger. Furthermore, make sure that you don't have a c# and a c natural in the same chord in this style of music. Personally, I think the flats in the bass are kind of strange as well, but I'll leave that up to you.

Other than those things, I must compliment you on your placement of secondary dominants, leading tone chords, and modulations. They were very well done in that respect. Just be careful of your chord structure within those pivot chords or secondary chords.

and secondly, it makes it so you are doubling the leading tone

yes I know that i did this mistake a few times. In the first version I used the leading tone too much so i tried to avoid these tones in the bass.


make sure that you don't have a c# and a c natural in the same chord

I think this c# is not such a problem. You can do it one or two times but not always.


Just be careful of your chord structure within those pivot chords or secondary chords.

Sorry can you explain me the problem. Perhaps it's my language problem:sweat:

I was just basically summarizing what I said before.

The problem is not the C# itself, it's the fact that you have a C# and a C natural in the same chord, which is a really strange dissonance within the style you created.

minor 2nd?

yes ok. perhaps should delete the c so i have an A7 without the first tone

Or you can make it a C# instead and it sounds ok to me.

BTW Rovski, that's not a minor second, although it is enharmonic with a minor second. Basically, in context, it would be heard and read as an augmented unison or diminished octave, which are both very strange.

Its Very interesting! I dont know how you came up with all those different parts. Its Amazing! Though all the ideas fit in there really well; I thought that it was a little too long. And then when one idea started to get boring then a new interesting one would start. all and all I really enjoyed it. Keep it up!

thank you very much for your comment Darkened Angel. I hope my next songs are as good as this song (or maybe better:heh: )

So after a long time without composing I made a new song. It's still not complete e.g the choir isn't there and the dynamic isn't perfect. But I hope you like it.

Excellent progression!

._o You definitely ripped a progression from Bach's Air on G string...

Asides from that, the orchestration of the piece wasn't too bad. But many parts were there merely for harmony, which isn't always a good thing if it's too thick. You can most definitely work on your notation as well... It's quite messy (i.e. some rhythms can be dotted instead of tied). Your orchestral colouring can also be worked on, as all I really remember from the piece was loud screaming strings throughout, and as if all woodwinds were there just for... no reason. Your ending was also strange.

You definitely ripped a progression from Bach's Air on G string...


Yes you are right:heh:. I love this melody so much:lol:

Thank you for your critics:). It was the first time that I wrote for an orchestra. I hope I will make it the next time better.

so I'm back with a small piece. It's not complete at the moment but I will work on it. I hope you like at least the idea. The dynamic isn't still there so all instruments have the same volume. Enjoy it (if you can:P)