I've Written/Arranged a few pieces so I'd Love Critiques

1) Hummingbirds Flight
String Trio, with 4 Mvmnts In E. Can be difficult.

2) Houki Boshi (Never heard the song before)
Violin/Cello, used an Midi made in the course of 30 min, kinda rough

3) Freezing Fire Burning Ice
Violin/Viola duet, Made in 2 hrs, 3 contrasting Mvmnts.

4) Hana
UNFINISHED Flute +String Trio Piece, need guidence on where to go with it.

Any help with these'd be so awesome.

Very polyphonic pieces, with strange usage of counterpoints. I can see many melodies in ur pieces, just hope that they could be clearer.

Random. To set it "in order," you need to organize your ideas in your songs to melody or harmony or countermelody or whatever it may be, and then give them a regular structure. Sorry, I'm not the best person to give advice, so maybe someone else can help you more :) *Psst, Dot, it's your cue o.o*

Ajamesu, you said it all. XD

~~~

Well, yes, random is the right word to describe your first, third and fourth piece. Technically, 'random' is when a piece lacks symmetry, coherence and form. You don't have any clear melody in your pieces. You also need to harmonize accordingly, but not putting random notes or putting everything in octaves. Your second movement did have some sort of logical organization of tones that I can identify as a melody, but it felt too weak. So basically: your next step is to get a good grasp of how a melody should be like. Goooood luck~! ;)

1st) Can you be a bit more specific? I'm no imbecile, however your explanation didn't give me much to work with.

2nd) I'm assuming you were referring to HF in your reply, as a trio it needn't necessarily have a defined melody. You can focus on a section, and not exactly have to deal with the small group as a whole.

3rd) Do you play a string instrument? if so you know that octaves are both pleasing to the ear and quite manageable on string instruments assuming your not anywhere near a beginner. While winds and brass, especially the higher ones must squeeze to reach the octaves.

4th) the "logical organization of tones that I can identify as a melody" Sure do not match your higher order of musical understanding and prowess you've seemed to ascertain.

5th) I asked for critiques not an insult.

1) Improve on your harmony, and structure.

2) U need to have proper progression in ur writing of melodies. Try progressing in the scales or appegios of ur chosen key. And u need to have a proper form to organise everything. I dun feel any sense of direction in ur pieces, u need to draw the grand line from the beginning to the end clearly.
Even modernist like Prokofeiv and Schoenberg have their structures.

3) Yes i'm a concert master in my school, i play the violin. It is true that there is nothing wrong using octaves. But it is better with chords. Talking abt texture, ur pieces are clearly polyphonic, therefore u need to have proper understanding in counterpoints.

4) There are rules in compositions that u need to follow, unless u want to convince us that you are trying out something new, u have to explain.

5) The above replies are kind comments(by ajamesu, and dots), they are not critics and definitely not insults. They are experienced composers, which are very hardworking, even though they are not professionals.

Rovski, can you make them into midi? I'd like to listen too. :)

1st) Can you be a bit more specific? I'm no imbecile, however your explanation didn't give me much to work with.

2nd) I'm assuming you were referring to HF in your reply, as a trio it needn't necessarily have a defined melody. You can focus on a section, and not exactly have to deal with the small group as a whole.

3rd) Do you play a string instrument? if so you know that octaves are both pleasing to the ear and quite manageable on string instruments assuming your not anywhere near a beginner. While winds and brass, especially the higher ones must squeeze to reach the octaves.

4th) the "logical organization of tones that I can identify as a melody" Sure do not match your higher order of musical understanding and prowess you've seemed to ascertain.

5th) I asked for critiques not an insult.

1) I was very specific. What you need to do is get a good melody.

2) That's why your music lacks coherence. If you are treating your ensemble as if they're a scattered bunch of instruments and plays random notes on each and every part, then it will never become a good piece of music.

3) No. I don't play instrument, but I have a good grasp how to orchestrate for strings (and I have quite a lot of friends who plays strings). I totally disagree with the fact that octave doubling is a good thing. Overuse of octave doubling in orchestration makes the outcome timbre extremely grey and tiring.

4) Thing is, if you can't even put notes into a good melody, or arrange them into a piece that the audience can perceive the feeling/meaning/atmosphere, how can they call it music?

5) They are not insults, thank you very much. If you can't take such small criticisms, I suggest you to stop composing.

I agree with Sir.Dot3X.

This is why I never took music lessons. I prefer making music from the heart. <3

Rovski, can you make them into midi? I'd like to listen too. :)

Here you go. But note that I did not take the time to change dynamics, which the program that javiolinist91 cannot do.


No. I don't play instrument, but I have a good grasp how to orchestrate for strings (and I have quite a lot of friends who plays strings). I totally disagree with the fact that octave doubling is a good thing. Overuse of octave doubling in orchestration makes the outcome timbre extremely grey and tiring.

Yes, overusing doubling(s) is/are the most common mistake(s).

EDIT: My Comments:

Hummingbird's Flight

Random. 3 octave triple stops in the Violin? I don't think that's possible (ending)...

More coming...

(The Critic is back in action!)

Hummingbird's Flight-
Well, let's hope this is just a first composition you've made, and that you have no training or experience with composition. This was just so fun to look at more to listen to; all those randomly clicked notes didn't give me any feeling of a bid flying, but more of a child coloring with crayons on the wall and having an annoying laugh. I would really try to 're-create' this entire piece's melody and harmony (which makes a piece) but keep the form it's in. I only liked the changes.

Houki Boshi-
This is an arrangement of a piece I've never heard; but I enjoyed it.

Freeze Burn-
UH? Nearly the same comments for the Hummingbird piece...

Hana-
The only good part about this was the ending chord; it's actually the only thing you did 'right' in all these piece. x_x

~~

javiolinist, I would STRONGLY recommend you listen to some easy Beethoven and Mozart, and try to copy those styles and make piece that are very simple and easy to follow, other than just rushing in and trying to 'write something thats hard' or showoffy. Trust me, it'l benifit you in the long run...

-Maz

(The Critic is back in action!)
javiolinist, I would STRONGLY recommend you listen to some easy Beethoven and Mozart, and try to copy those styles and make piece that are very simple and easy to follow, other than just rushing in and trying to 'write something thats hard' or showoffy. Trust me, it'l benifit you in the long run...

-Maz

True, since after listening to the themes, It reminds me back when I was 11. 6 years of practice does bring out a lot.

I just wish everyone to know regardless if i was being EXTREMELY oversensitive i really took what Dot and Rovski said to heart, I was stressed with School crap and now I'm all better :heh: . I trashed HF and tried to thing of Themes I started on a couple and it reminded me of my friend Denise I'm not totally sure this is any better but you tell me.

I haven't a real musical ear in terms of pitch and chords, my teacher says it's because i didn't start when i was 5,6,7, I started at 9 and am good but when i try to manifest my thoughts on paper for others to enjoy they come out as Random Blah.

Big Sorrys to Everyone I was Being such a/an (insert expletive here) to.

Pieces Currently working on:
Denise
Forest of No Return from TOL for Quartet

Age doesn't really matter, it's the determination. I started at 13, and now im 15 (3/4).

I would really start with piano stuff. Two hands (obviously) weither you can play piano or not. Like I say to many people, start with EASY stuff like simple sonatinas and short piano pieces like you find in beginners books.

I think you showed a lot of improvement here. The parts seems to fit together much more nicely, and there's a much stronger harmonic aspect. Great work, and keep up the small ensemble composing - I think you're developing a knack for it.

Yar good work. Just continue to improve. Maybe u could read about counterpoints in wikipedia. (not advertising)

Thankies So Much :)
I'm not really a pianist, after a lot of practice i was able to play Pachelbels Kanon ( one of my fav songs ever). Still I guess i could try.