What are you expecting from your life?

What are your short and long term goals?

How are you going to accomplish them?

And once you fulfill your goals, what will be next?

These are questions that I ask to others in different forms, and most of the times I find out that their life are not what they really expected, and accepted how it is, or they are completely stuck in a hole without seeing a way to escape from it (mostly they do not have the motivation and action to actually to be able to make the change).

How is it going all to you?

Whenever you want to post or not, these are question to think constantly through the years to have a clear path of where you want to be and how you will get there.

death

chocolate *nods*

... being serious...

What are you expecting from your life?

Nothing. I don't think you should "expect" anything from your life- take each day as it comes and live in the present.

What are your short and long term goals? How are you going to accomplish them? And once you fulfill your goals, what will be next?

Similar vein to above, I don't see much point in long term goals. Short term goals are what gets you from one point in life to another and your path is constantly changing. After each short term goal is achieved comes a fork in the road which may take you off in new directions and you need to remain open to them with no preconceptions.

I don't know where this quote comes from but it's stuck with me "As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it's leaning against the right building". I am in the process of checking where the ladder is going to be honest. I have the option of taking a chance on the music ladder, trying to become a conductor and ending up not making it and being unable to do much more than teach, or I could take a chance on the Japan ladder and apply for JET next year which will develop my existing Japanese ability to one where I could go into pretty high paid jobs but would involve pissing off to Japan for the forseeable future... I'm still assessing these options really...

How is it going all to you?

As above really. Kind of feel at a stand still right now... but it's sometimes better than going down the wrong path. There is definitely such thing as the wrong path, whatever people say- I've been down it before.

What are you expecting from your life?

There is only one truth about life, and that is death. It is up to myself to enrich my life before that happens, be it with joy or sadness.


What are your short and long term goals?

Short:
Establish myself in society. Get a secure, well paid job. Continue my education. Potentially get married.

Long:
Accomplish my educational goals in the field of AI and provide a practical application of these.


How are you going to accomplish them?

Through discipline and effort. Much research will be required for my long term goals.


And once you fulfill your goals, what will be next?

My longterm goal was made because it is continuous: it shouldn't have an end.


These are questions that I ask to others in different forms, and most of the times I find out that their life are not what they really expected, and accepted how it is, or they are completely stuck in a hole without seeing a way to escape from it (mostly they do not have the motivation and action to actually to be able to make the change).

The problem with these questions is that it's goal based. If someone has given up hope and hasn't set or has no intension of setting up goals, they will continue to be unmotivated. You have to guide most people to their needs first. So you should add on two questions to this list:

1. Is there anything that is preventing you from reaching your/creating goals? Why?

2. Identify the fundamental flaw with who you are now. What can you do to remove the flaw? Can you do it? If you cannot remove the flaw, then does it effect your lifestyle adversely from what you want in life?

I expect to die, any moment, and end up forgetting that anything has ever existed.

If I read this post again five years from now, I'll be laughing out loud.

Like with RD and M, I think the only thing we can expect from life is death. However I do expect many things from myself, to behave in a proper manner, to be respectful and helpful.

I think there is plenty we can hope and wish for though. I hope that change will occur throughout my life and I wish for it. I wish for an event that remain special to me, as much as I wish for one so I will have something to remember as being special (whatever it may be).

As for my short term goals. A very basic one. Get a job. I've finished school, and now I wish to find a job for two reasons. 1, to earn money, and 2, to just get settled into something repetitive again, like school. I enjoyed the procedural yet repetitive nature of it.

I have two long term goals. One is to continue to become a musician, and play music. It doesn't matter how famous or renown I get, I just wish to keep getting better and continue to play. The other just happens to consist of many short term goals as well. As some of you already know I am transgendered and I wish to have completed many aspects of my transition in the long term.

How will I accomplish them? Only with the help of others I believe. I can continue to explore music myself, but I believe it is something best shared with others, and simply just by playing and doing what comes naturally. The same goes with my transition, it will be a long and hard journey, but as long as I stand confident and give things the time they need (and by going through all the proper medical and government channels) things will hopefully work out for the best.

As for fulfilling them, I don't think I will ever achieve an end point. For music, I can only continue to discover and continue to enjoy it, I believe there will never be a point where I will become 'the best' at a particular genera or instrument. I don't believe I will ever stop loving it either. Transition is much the same. It is a path of self discovery and achievement, and I don't think anyone stops learning more about themselves.

My goals are fairly open ended and non discrete. But I don't like setting an end-goal for life. There will always be more to it if you are willing to find it.

What are you expecting from your life?

Nothing. Whatever happens, happens. I take whatever life throws at me and I learn to adapt to it. It is foolish to think that life will prepare for you something other than death. :)


What are your short and long term goals?

Short:
To get enough money to buy a PS3. :P To finish this semester with a GPA of above 3.0. Many more but I can't think of them right now.

Long:
Finish up my tertiary education. Pass my driver's license. :thumb: Find a nice place to move into. Get a job that I am willing to do and pays well. Complete my secret project.


How are you going to accomplish them?

For academic-related stuff, I have to finish my assignments duly, have a good attendance record, study for exams and lead/cooperate well in project work. Although this is obvious, I also have to understand the subjects being taught.

For my lifestyle needs, I just need to have enough money and meet the neccesary requirements.

For a good job, I have to get good academic credentials and network well. I have to look around and try not to be fussy. I also have to earn enough experience for that field of job I'm pursuing.

For my secret project, I have to stop procrastinating!


And once you fulfill your goals, what will be next?

I guess I'll get new goals? :heh:

I have know idea what to do with my life

But i do have goals:like create my own anime series

I know what your thinking you wish:)

What are you expecting from your life?

That I'll stick to music, and find success and happiness.

What are your short and long term goals?

Short: To get back together with a friend of mine. She has helped me through some tough situations, understands what I go through, and loves that I enjoy arranging music. She's a true friend, and I love her.

Long: To become a school band teacher. If I can't do that, I want to become a Composer. If I become a composer, I want to reintroduce the Ocarina into orchestra's. I'll write scores for Orchestra's and include full Ocarina sections. I'll make it more than just a "Special addition"

How are you going to accomplish them?

Simple. I'll stick with what I love, playing Sax and arranging music. I'll also stick with my friend mentioned above, because when I lose my motivation, she gives me more reasons to be motivated.

And once you fulfill your goals, what will be next?

To teach music to others. If I ever get married and have a child one day, I'll want to teach that child to play instruments, and to love music as much as I do.

How is it going all to you?

It's going pretty good. My arrangements usually turn out pretty good when I add the final touches to them, and my friend mentioned above gives me reasons to be happy.


Is there anything that is preventing you from reaching your/creating goals? Why?

Some so called "Friends" of mine in my music classes. They treat me like crap, but I'm finished with them. I don't plan to speak with them ever again. They aren't worth my time, or my abilities.

Identify the fundamental flaw with who you are now. What can you do to remove the flaw? Can you do it? If you cannot remove the flaw, then does it effect your lifestyle adversely from what you want in life?

When those so called "Friends" say something about me, it really gets to me. Words hurt. But I just need to separate myself from those people. And my friend I mentioned early helps me feel better, so I think I'll do fine. (And wow, I mentioned my friend a lot... I guess it just goes to show that I love her and how great full I am that she helps me)

What are you expecting from your life?
Nothing much. Like cryskolt_19 said, whatever comes at me, I'll just learn to adapt to it. :)


What are your short and long term goals?
Short: Pass high school and get into college.
Long: Become a medical profession and save lives.


How are you going to accomplish them?
For my short term goals, I'll just have to keep racking up with my studies and try to get the best grade I can get.

For my long term goals, I need to successfully graduate from a medical school and work my butts off to saving patients lives.


And once you fulfill your goals, what will be next?
Probably just live my life to the fullest it can be. Who knows... I might have some new goals be created as I trend through life. :)

How about from our OP?

Generally, I wouldn't answer these kinds of questions, but I'm a tad bored at the moment :)

What are you expecting from your life?

I expect nothing from it -- I only "hope" that certain instances will act in my favor, whatever those big and/or small favors might be.


What are your short and long term goals?

Short: Study and work hard in college; become the best pianist I can be; learn the ins-and-outs of music, and the music world; start to put my name out there in said music world to start making a living /OR/ be able to happily apply to a Master's degree (this is quite a "long" short-term goal).

Long: Be able to make a living (ex. playing the bills, eating nutritiously, and staying off the streets... ), hopefully doing something musically related (whatever it might be); be able to live in a place of my own, and live out my days of being a performing musician/teacher/etc.


How are you going to accomplish them?

Go to school, work as hard as I can (both at the piano and away from it...business decisions, etc.).


And once you fulfill your goals, what will be next?

I don't quite like the idea of fulfilling goals, at least the "long-term" goals; I want to be able to constantly be chasing it, however, maybe chasing it in a different way. I have aesthetic goals as opposed to business or "real-life" goals. The ladder I hope to reach in order to continue my goal of becoming as much of a well-rounded musician as I possibly can; collaborating with as many different artists as I possibly can; further developing my own skills involved in music and in teaching it as well. So, in a way, there's always going to be something next, because nothing that important will ever be quite "fulfilled."


How is it going all to you?

Musically, everything is going great. I'm finding deeper and better understanding, and I'm collaborating with other peers, learning lots of different music [in quick amounts of time, as well]. When it comes to those long-term goals, or "real-life" goals, they're going okay. Finances are hard, especially when putting yourself through an [expensive] college on your own. As of now, I'm a bit uneasy about it, just because it's nerve-racking keeping a great paying job for break, when you're injured and not getting enough hours... but I shall press on!

I expect happiness out of my life. My short term goal is to attain more happiness. My long term goal is to keep it, and obtain even more of it! >:3
After I've horded all the happiness a human can possibly enjoy, I'll dole it out to deserving others as I see fit.

You goalless people who expect nothing but death from your life, and plan on doing nothing but rolling with the punches until the day-you-expect are depressing as hell. One day, maybe I'll give some happiness to you!


I have know idea what to do with my life

But i do have goals:like create my own anime series

I know what your thinking you wish
Yup, that's exactly what I was thinking. You get some respect for at least having a goal, though. Good luck, sir.

How about from our OP?

What are you expecting from your life?

I am expecting to continue my growing process as a person and professionally and accomplish what I want to do, realistically, of course. I am not looking to allow myself to get stuck and live life just randomly. I would feel rather mediocre and pointless if I did not have anything productive to do with my life.

What are your short and long term goals?

Short-term goals:

To organize myself better.

To correct my sleep timing. It is affecting my daily life dramatically. I started to work on this already and I hope I get it fixed as soon as possible!

To get more vitamin D (Sun).

To travel to Colombia in February.

To build a new PC for my home studio.

To get a stable job, so I can free myself from the freelance world for a bit and be secure economically.

To design, compose, produce, and distribute digitally an original chip-tune album before the end of 2012 (It is in the concept stage and on hold at the moment).

To compose and prepare the sheet music for a piece of 3-4 minutes for a septet performance (Everything must be ready by February).

To finish all the projects I need to get done in this weeks and to find new clients.

To prepare a new printed portfolio.

Long-term goals:

To keep improving in myself as a person and professionally.

To keep exploring, learning and applying my skills. This include a lot of things, such as expanding my English, my emotional intelligence, working my creativity, my leadership, becoming a better musician, drawer, etc.

To find someone that would like to play tennis or chess with me.

To take photography as a hobby and to use it to enhance my works for not to be so dependent of stock images!

A car, Lol... >_>

In my love life, I want to get married, to give love and receive love, and to let it be enriched it with good and bad experiences for us to grow up together, and to maintain it away from an end.

To bring happiness and help others whenever I can.

Socially, I want to meet more people in the industries that I am interested and to engage in activities or events more often. I would like to make more friends also. I am a loner and I spend almost all my time by myself unless I am with the significant other.

Educationally I want to do a master degree in Art Direction or Advertisement or another subject of interest that I love and see that can bring a benefit to me professionally.

Professionally, I want to create. I am putting it very vague, but that one means a lot to me, lol.

How are you going to accomplish them?

Being realistic and putting everything into action. Nothing will happen if I do not act. Planning strategies and finding possible solutions to all the obstacles I will meet in my path, and accepting that I will make a lot mistakes and external shit will happen always. It is an inevitable part of the process.

And once you fulfill your goals, what will be next?

I do not see an end with many of my goals. I know there will be a lot of new goals through my goals. From old childhood's dreams to new unknown things to working with bad habits.

How is it going all to you?

Slow and unorganized because of own fault. Working on it!

I find it really amusing how we're all going philosophical about what we expect from life and say "death". (I'm not criticizing you guys, I'm just amused.) I don't think we actually expect to die, precisely because we know it's going to happen sooner or later. Expectation isn't "the knowledge that something is necessarily so", but rather "the strong anticipation that X is likely to happen". Expectation, because it has the connotation of anticipation, also suggests that you are looking forward to and eagerly waiting for something of expectation. I don't think we're really that eager to be dead. At least I'm not, and hopefully none of us are suicidal here. Instead of us "expecting death" or "anticipating death", I think it's more accurate to say that we "know death will come".

Anyway, that's just my little bit of anti-philosophical philosophical narcissism of minor differences in loose uses of language. You can ignore me if you wish, I really ought to be studying for my exam.

I expect eudaimonia from my life, whatever it means and however I may achieve it.
Short term plan is to ace my exams. Long term plan is to finish school with a good standing, get a decent job, earn a decent living and publish novels.
I'll fulfill them by not wasting anymore studying time, and living everyday doing what I need to do, hopefully more efficiently than I have been studying.
After I achieve these goals, there would've been more goals created so I'll pursue them. =)

Why are my smurf senses tingling

Anyway,
I find it really amusing how we're all going philosophical about what we expect from life and say "death". (I'm not criticizing you guys, I'm just amused.) I don't think we actually expect to die, precisely because we know it's going to happen sooner or later. Expectation isn't "the knowledge that something is necessarily so", but rather "the strong anticipation that X is likely to happen". Expectation, because it has the connotation of anticipation, also suggests that you are looking forward to and eagerly waiting for something of expectation. I don't think we're really that eager to be dead. At least I'm not, and hopefully none of us are suicidal here. Instead of us "expecting death" or "anticipating death", I think it's more accurate to say that we "know death will come".In truth, death and life are one, not separate.
Therefore, to experience life as death is an accurate perception of reality.

In truth, death and life are one, not separate.
Therefore, to experience life as death is an accurate perception of reality.

I object. If death and life are one and not separate, then we are both dead and alive at the same time, and when we die we're actually becoming alive, and when a child is born, he is actually dying and dead. This is absurd. I know I am alive now. It would take someone a very difficult effort to convince me that I'm dead. By reductio ad absurdum, your statement is proven false.

What is true to say is that life would be valueless if there were no death, because if we were all immortal, we would live hideously like the Greek gods.

Looks like someone spent a semester in college x)

But... "valueless?"

I hope "spent a semester in college" is euphemism. Dx I can't wait to get out so I actually have time to do shit that I want to do instead of reading books written by dead people about some out dated theory of science that isn't useful anywhere... and then I remind myself that there's more grad school to be done. I'm never going to have a life.

Anyway.

"Valueless" is kind of too strong of a word, I thought that after I made the last post but couldn't be bothered to change it. "Devalued" is the much better, more accurate word. Life would be devalued greatly if it weren't for death.

It was an understatement. The reason I said it was because of the way you went about applying logic to Zero's statement was done-so in a not-so-modest fashion. xD

And yes, "devalued" sounds to be more correct.

I blame it on the studying. Dx All the logic and arguments I've been reading all day is bleeding over into other areas of my brain, uncontrollably. Dx

I suppose I'm good at hijacking threads.

Off Topic:I meant experiencing, not thinking. After a certain point, mind can only go so far.

But what if, and this is just a suggestion, that accepting death can actually increase life?
Only if you reject death do you cling onto life, avoiding what's always present and around you, living essentially a half-life.

Let's just say one of my practices is to always feel death - my own death, the death of everyone, and the death of existence itself. I can't always do it, but when I do, all questions drop. (Note, this is a practice mainly for guys only)

I would reply to you in full if I weren't so tremendously tired from studying and really have to go get a decent night rest for my exam tomorrow. But, as a payment for the thoughts you've provoked me to think (which I probably will get back to you with tomorrow), have this dole. It is from an old, wise, happy mind:

He who has least need of tomorrow will advance towards it with most pleasure.

... We think too much and feel too little...

and what we express out of us, it is too little from what we feel.

I'm not expecting, I should do the right things and my plans for my life, because I think the more you expect the more you can be hurt,what if you did not meet your expectations? it can cause you so much disappointed. you just need to be contented on what you have and if I'm not satisfied I should make a move to reach my goals and plan.

I hate to say, but to say that there are cases where you are not satisfied is saying something didn't meet your expectations. Not satisfied = "not good enough", "not there yet", "could be better", etc etc. All these imply a higher expectation. If someone truly has no expectation, then there would not be any issue of satisfaction.

But anyway, expecting too much surely isn't beneficial, but neither is not expecting. Expectations pushes us forward; I'd rather be an active striving person looking to do what I want to see myself achieving, rather than a static person doing things that's handed to me by others.

Breaking news - erika's an adbot.

Breaking news - erika's an adbot.

Well, ya learn something new everyday.

And a good one.

I expect to die, any moment, and end up forgetting that anything has ever existed.

If I read this post again five years from now, I'll be laughing out loud.

I lol'd irl. How ridiculous, though I can't argue with him.


So, a couple things:

1. I now know that there is no such thing as death. Life is the appearance of death, and death is the substance of life. This apparent duality of existence has been called by different names in different cultures during different eras - consciousness and light, formless and form, source and manifestation - I like being concrete, so I call it death and life.

It's possible to feel into each other face to face that this realization just becomes obvious, full bodily without any thought. It's actually what every being wants. Thus, to recognize life as death and death as life through every cell of my body, every electrical impulse of my nervous system, and every square inch of my awareness is one of my ongoing practices.


2. I now know that human suffering is entertainment. People dramatize their life story because it entertains them, and people like to see news of human suffering because they're entertaining. People like to believe that there is such a thing as "saving the world" since a part of themselves are entertained by the idea of being all powerful and important, when in actuality, the people who are most trying to "save the world" are the ones creating most unnecessary human suffering, for no reason other than to feel like some kind of holy savior. Therefore, I'm no longer moved to "eliminate suffering" in the way I used to.

Yet, real compassion is still possible, because everybody, and possibly every being, is walking around with enormous amounts of past traumas, buried deep in their subconscious psyches, that are eating them away from inside out in incredibly profound ways that are invisible to them. Unfortunately our culture is hopelessly uneducated in this realm that there's hardly anyone who's even aware of these kinds of subtle and deep traumas that are invisible even to specialist therapists or new-age healers, and even fewer who are willing to do the kinds of practices that are required to get to the root of your real traumas, as it can be quite an excruciatingly painful process, requiring you to face the parts of yourself that your subconscious mind has cleverly blocked your conscious awareness from seeing, because if you did, you'd probably kill yourself.

In short, I'll just say that the way to serve others without requiring them to do the dirty work on themselves, is to allow them to "touch" the parts of you that have been most damaged and traumatized. It's another full body practice that anybody who's physically around you will feel it in their entire body.


3. I now know that there is no such thing as "people." The entirety of a person's life has nothing to do with them. A person's personality, memories, everything from their birth to death has literally nothing to do with their conscious intent. Everything is a result of everything that has ever happened since the Big Bang. Or more concretely, one can imagine this:
Nobody chose when they're born, or where they're born, or into what genetic configuration they're born into, or what environment they're born into, what kinds of people will raise them, what early life conditions will shape their early life character, such that by the time they're aware of "conscious choice", that so-called choice is actually a conditioned choice - meaning, no choice.

In Math, it's called Chaos Theory - sensitive dependence to initial conditions. Once the conditions of the Big Bang were set in motion, everything after it has already been determined. Therefore, you can never blame anyone for anything.

Yet, personalities are still dissectible. A part of a person may truly want to serve others without wanting anything in return, yet another part might not care about anything but themselves. Yet another part may settle for peaceful sharing and compromising. Each of these parts, or states as I call them, are mutually-exclusive independent states, meaning when you're in one state, you feel as a completely different person than when you're in another state. Our culture doesn't understand this and thus people have a tendency to believe that the thousands and millions of possible states that everybody fluctuates between, actually reflects their overall personality or conscious intent, which is stupid. Personalities come in parts, and anyone can shift from one state to another, feeling like completely different persons, sometimes many different completely different persons, in a matter of seconds.

Therefore, another ongoing practice of mine is to feel through the superficial parts of people's personalities, into their unconditioned source, which almost inevitably requires allowing them to touch the parts of me that have been most traumatized, and recognizing that life is just the appearance of death, and that nothing really matters but you and me being here, now.


4. I now know that everything about you affects and changes everything else in the universe quite profoundly. The way you breathe, your posture, the quality of your movements, from the way you do the dishes to the way you embrace your lover, touches virtually everything in the universe. A simple wave of the hand touches the furthest galaxies, let alone the people around you. Every thought in your head ripples the space around you. What your attention is on profoundly touches everybody on the planet, let alone people who are in the same room as you.

Therefore, I don't restrict what I do or think I have to "take responsibility for how I affect others." Simply being aware that every nuance of your existence touches everything else in existence and allowing everything in existence to touch you profoundly and deeply, is enough, though easier said than done.


5. I now know that there are no "others." For me the easiest way to achieve this realization is through sexual embrace, as it can be quite difficult outside the bedroom with all the fucked up people around who make it so damn difficult for me to even want to love them. For some others it's the other way around. Yet, everyone who's fucked up and turns you off in the worst way possible, is at heart, you. We are one, appearing as myriads of forms, entertaining in the drama of playing with each other as apparent others. Let's just say that to recognize everyone and everything as manifestations of the One who we are, playing in the full range of human drama, and know that we are One in the midst of the drama, ain't too shabby at all.

For me it requires feeling through personality parts, allowing apparent others to touch your most vulnerable and wounded parts, feeling life as the appearance of death, through every cell of the body, feeling how every nuance of your existence is affecting the entire universe profoundly. And on top of that, to allow myself to energetically and through the whole body, become everyone and everything, even the ones that repulse me the most. Let's just say it involves breathwork, energy circulation, sexual pathways, and a relentlessly vulnerable willingness to open the heart completely to every possible kind of pain and torture possible.


Now, nobody can do this consistently. But it's my entertainment to do so.
These kind of practices are the core of my life, the purpose of my existence. In the end, nothing matters. Existence is just one big fucking joke. And yet, here we are, and I want to see how far I can go for as long as this body lasts.

I lol'd irl. How ridiculous, though I can't argue with him.


So, a couple things:

1. I now know that there is no such thing as death. Life is the appearance of death, and death is the substance of life. This apparent duality of existence has been called by different names in different cultures during different eras - consciousness and light, formless and form, source and manifestation - I like being concrete, so I call it death and life.

It's possible to feel into each other face to face that this realization just becomes obvious, full bodily without any thought. It's actually what every being wants. Thus, to recognize life as death and death as life through every cell of my body, every electrical impulse of my nervous system, and every square inch of my awareness is one of my ongoing practices.


2. I now know that human suffering is entertainment. People dramatize their life story because it entertains them, and people like to see news of human suffering because they're entertaining. People like to believe that there is such a thing as "saving the world" since a part of themselves are entertained by the idea of being all powerful and important, when in actuality, the people who are most trying to "save the world" are the ones creating most unnecessary human suffering, for no reason other than to feel like some kind of holy savior. Therefore, I'm no longer moved to "eliminate suffering" in the way I used to.

Yet, real compassion is still possible, because everybody, and possibly every being, is walking around with enormous amounts of past traumas, buried deep in their subconscious psyches, that are eating them away from inside out in incredibly profound ways that are invisible to them. Unfortunately our culture is hopelessly uneducated in this realm that there's hardly anyone who's even aware of these kinds of subtle and deep traumas that are invisible even to specialist therapists or new-age healers, and even fewer who are willing to do the kinds of practices that are required to get to the root of your real traumas, as it can be quite an excruciatingly painful process, requiring you to face the parts of yourself that your subconscious mind has cleverly blocked your conscious awareness from seeing, because if you did, you'd probably kill yourself.

In short, I'll just say that the way to serve others without requiring them to do the dirty work on themselves, is to allow them to "touch" the parts of you that have been most damaged and traumatized. It's another full body practice that anybody who's physically around you will feel it in their entire body.


3. I now know that there is no such thing as "people." The entirety of a person's life has nothing to do with them. A person's personality, memories, everything from their birth to death has literally nothing to do with their conscious intent. Everything is a result of everything that has ever happened since the Big Bang. Or more concretely, one can imagine this:
Nobody chose when they're born, or where they're born, or into what genetic configuration they're born into, or what environment they're born into, what kinds of people will raise them, what early life conditions will shape their early life character, such that by the time they're aware of "conscious choice", that so-called choice is actually a conditioned choice - meaning, no choice.

In Math, it's called Chaos Theory - sensitive dependence to initial conditions. Once the conditions of the Big Bang were set in motion, everything after it has already been determined. Therefore, you can never blame anyone for anything.

Yet, personalities are still dissectible. A part of a person may truly want to serve others without wanting anything in return, yet another part might not care about anything but themselves. Yet another part may settle for peaceful sharing and compromising. Each of these parts, or states as I call them, are mutually-exclusive independent states, meaning when you're in one state, you feel as a completely different person than when you're in another state. Our culture doesn't understand this and thus people have a tendency to believe that the thousands and millions of possible states that everybody fluctuates between, actually reflects their overall personality or conscious intent, which is stupid. Personalities come in parts, and anyone can shift from one state to another, feeling like completely different persons, sometimes many different completely different persons, in a matter of seconds.

Therefore, another ongoing practice of mine is to feel through the superficial parts of people's personalities, into their unconditioned source, which almost inevitably requires allowing them to touch the parts of me that have been most traumatized, and recognizing that life is just the appearance of death, and that nothing really matters but you and me being here, now.


4. I now know that everything about you affects and changes everything else in the universe quite profoundly. The way you breathe, your posture, the quality of your movements, from the way you do the dishes to the way you embrace your lover, touches virtually everything in the universe. A simple wave of the hand touches the furthest galaxies, let alone the people around you. Every thought in your head ripples the space around you. What your attention is on profoundly touches everybody on the planet, let alone people who are in the same room as you.

Therefore, I don't restrict what I do or think I have to "take responsibility for how I affect others." Simply being aware that every nuance of your existence touches everything else in existence and allowing everything in existence to touch you profoundly and deeply, is enough, though easier said than done.


5. I now know that there are no "others." For me the easiest way to achieve this realization is through sexual embrace, as it can be quite difficult outside the bedroom with all the fucked up people around who make it so damn difficult for me to even want to love them. For some others it's the other way around. Yet, everyone who's fucked up and turns you off in the worst way possible, is at heart, you. We are one, appearing as myriads of forms, entertaining in the drama of playing with each other as apparent others. Let's just say that to recognize everyone and everything as manifestations of the One who we are, playing in the full range of human drama, and know that we are One in the midst of the drama, ain't too shabby at all.

For me it requires feeling through personality parts, allowing apparent others to touch your most vulnerable and wounded parts, feeling life as the appearance of death, through every cell of the body, feeling how every nuance of your existence is affecting the entire universe profoundly. And on top of that, to allow myself to energetically and through the whole body, become everyone and everything, even the ones that repulse me the most. Let's just say it involves breathwork, energy circulation, sexual pathways, and a relentlessly vulnerable willingness to open the heart completely to every possible kind of pain and torture possible.


Now, nobody can do this consistently. But it's my entertainment to do so.
These kind of practices are the core of my life, the purpose of my existence. In the end, nothing matters. Existence is just one big fucking joke. And yet, here we are, and I want to see how far I can go for as long as this body lasts.
Guwahhhh. My head started to hurt a fifth of the way through, and I had to stop reading. = =
As for me, I'm practicing piano again, so I expect I'll become a stronger pianist.

To travel to Colombia in February.

I am in Colombia and I do not wanna leave. I should have took 4 weeks of travel! XD

Maybe we should all change our posts to say "Money, Sex, and Power!!"? Hah, I'm just joking, but still. XD

Maybe we should all change our posts to say "Money, Sex, and Power!!"? Hah, I'm just joking, but still.
Add "via raw awesome talent and manly hard work" to the end of that, and you have like 90% of my life plans, though. = \

I'm so tempted to rename Zero's account to Gloomy McGloomDoom :mellow:

Maybe we should all change our posts to say "Money, Sex, and Power!!"? Hah, I'm just joking, but still. XD

Bey-Heart's fantasy alter-ego:

http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/4177/162bz.jpg

that's very good coloring.

I'm so tempted to rename Zero's account to Gloomy McGloomDoom


Heh, if I were a mod, I would've done it a long time ago. XD

Bey-Heart's fantasy alter-ego:
But I would have changed it back after this post. Fucking lol'd. ='D